Head Above Water

Chapter Twenty Two

Lilith was surrounded by nothing but endless darkness for what could have easily been hours. It was peaceful.

It was what she had wanted when she first came to the woods.

She began to feel pressure on her chest, over and over again as her name was being called in the distance. The sound became louder and more clear, and then she felt everything, all at once.

Her eyes shot open and her mouth opened, coughing up the water that was previously in her lungs. She tried to take a breath, finding herself in a longer coughing fit. Lilith tried to sit up, looking all around her for Beck but finding Toby.

Toby was leaning almost over Lilith, his one arm across her waist, holding himself up on the ground beside her as his other hand was out in case she fell. He was dripping wet, his curls falling in front of his face which was filled with concern. He was breathing hard, finding it hard to believe Lilith would do this.

"What happened, Lil? I thought you promised," he did his best to help Lilith sit up fully as she gripped onto his arm.

Lilith shook her head aggressively back and forth, still paranoid of her surroundings. "I- No, it's not what it looks like. I wasn't trying to kill myself, I swear." She avoided Toby's eyes, fear in her own.

Toby took his free hand, gently taking ahold of her chin, bringing her wandering eyes to his. "Then what the hell were you doing? You can swim, Lil, we both know that. You weren't even trying." He looked heartbroken, as if he had lost her.

Her bottom lip quivered as she tried to explain, but found herself at a loss for words. "I don't know what happened, Toby, I really don't. I don't want to die." Her body began to shake as she felt herself start to cry again. Toby sighed, looking up to the sky as Lilith rested her head on his shoulder. He smiled tiredly, wrapping his arms around her shoulders and squeezing tightly.

Toby held her for a few minutes, pulling back despite neither of them wanting to. "Come on, let's go dry off and talk about what happened."

"I don't want to go back to my house yet," Lilith was quick to respond, holding a tight grip on Toby's forearms to keep him from getting up.

He nodded, "Don't worry, we'll go to mine." Toby stood up, pulling Lilith with him. He took her hand in his, starting to walk in that direction.

Lilith was fascinated with her surroundings, noticing everything was back to normal. It was all green trees, humid summer air, and the sun setting in the back. Everything was back to normal, at least that's what she hoped.

Toby led the way, entering the front door to his house and calling out to his mother. "Mom! Can you bring us some towels?" Lilith glanced at Toby surprised, remembering he had a talk with his mother.

Mrs. Whitaker was quick to act, hurrying down the hall with arms filled with towels. She had a smile on her face up until she spotted Lilith. "Oh, I didn't expect Lilith to be here tonight."

"Oh, yeah, mom, Lilith is probably going to spend the night." Toby grabbed one of the towels, throwing it around Lilith's body and then taking one for himself.

His mother looked between the two of them, pointing to the towels. "Why are you both soaking wet?" Lilith kept quiet, her eyes looking to the floor.

"We had a bit of an incident at the river." Toby smiled tightly, hoping there wouldn't be any more questions. When nobody said anything more, he nodded. "I'm going to change really quick, I'll be right back with some clothes for you." He ran up the steps and was gone within seconds, leaving Lilith alone with his mother.

The two tried to make eye contact, but Toby's mother couldn't hold it and turned away, walking into the living room. Lilith sighed, wrapping the towel tighter around her body before following. "Mrs. Whitaker, can I talk with you?"

Mrs. Whitaker didn't even attempt to hide her annoyance, rolling her eyes and sighing loudly. "I really don't want to do this tonight, Lilith."

"Please, Mrs. Whitaker. I just really need to talk with people." Her voice was quiet, she was on the urge of giving up.

Mrs. Whitaker nodded slowly, "Okay, but you can get changed first. You can talk to both Toby and I, how about that? I'll make some tea." Lilith agreed, a small smile showing on her face as she walked in the direction of Toby's room.

Lilith knocked gently on the door frame despite his door being wide open. She kept her eyes down after seeing his shirtless back. He laughed quietly, "It's okay, Lilith, come on in." He quickly slipped on a t-shirt, picking up the pile of clothes for Lilith. "Here, you can try out these." She grabbed them from his hands, smiling and thanking him quietly. As she started to turn to leave for the bathroom, Toby grabbed her wrist. "Lilith, I'm glad your still here."

She quietly exhaled out of her nose, "I'm glad you showed up when you did." He grinned, letting her go change.

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Lilith now had dry clothes on and was just using the towel to finish drying her hair when she walked back down to meet Toby in the living room. He and his mother were both sitting on the couch, sipping the fresh tea Mrs. Whitaker had made. Toby patted the spot beside him, watching as Lilith made herself comfortable.

Lilith kept eye contact with Mrs. Whitaker, jumping right into the conversation. "The only reason I knew of your son, Beck, and his passing was because I kind of met him this summer, or rather his ghost. I could see him, I could talk to him, I could feel him. I'm not completely sure as to why I was the one who could interact with him because it seems what he told me may not have been completely true, which is really messing with my head right now."

Mrs. Whitaker didn't say anything, but just watched Lilith intensely. Toby kept his head down, but when Lilith began to talk about that afternoon, he rested his hand on her knee.

"I was unbelievably when I first got here this summer, and I talked about the idea of killing myself. This ghost of Beck told me that was the reason I could see him, because we bonded over the thought of suicide. He's been talking with me, in a way helping me through some dark thoughts, but I thought I was also helping him move on to whatever was next."

Lilith continued the story of her summer so far, clearly confusing Mrs. Whitaker beyond belief. She didn't stop for questions though and just wanted to finish telling her everything.

"Today, I opened up to my dad and tried to tell him how I was feeling all summer. He didn't exactly comfort me through it, but instead tried to ignore it. I didn't take it well and went to the river since it was a place of comfort for me. I pushed Toby away, and then Beck showed up, or at least I could hear his voice. When I looked up, he was gone and everything was different."

Toby shared the same confused expression as his mother. "What do you mean, Lilith?"

Lilith held up her hand as if to quiet him, "When did Beck die, Mrs. Whitaker?" Toby glanced at his mother who was trying so hard to process everything.

"October 22nd." She was quiet, keeping the eye contact with Lilith.

"That makes more sense. When I looked up, the trees weren't green anymore and it had gotten significantly colder. I was screaming for either Beck or Toby to help me once I realized I couldn't leave the woods."

Toby nodded, "I remember, that's when I started heading back towards you."

Lilith smiled, placing her hand over Toby's. "Then I saw Beck, but he couldn't see or hear me. He was crying and clearly mad, letting out his frustration. Then he fell into the river. Despite what I was told when this all started, I don't think Beck wanted to kill himself. It was all an accident, and he didn't have anyone there to save him."

Toby and his mother looked to one another, a small smile on each of their faces. Lilith continued on, just wanting to be done with this story.

"That's when I thought I had to jump in. It felt like I could save him, but then he was gone and I was being held down by something. I swear, I was trying so hard to get out of the water, but I couldn't swim up."

Toby nodded slowly, his mother still having trouble understanding. Lilith shrugged helplessly, knowing she let everything out and now it was just a matter of them believing her. "I don't want to drown myself to death. I know it looked different when you got there, Toby, but it felt like I was being drowned by someone else."