𝒐𝒏𝒆𝒔𝒉𝒐𝒕𝒔 - 𝒑𝒋𝒎.𝒋𝒋𝒌

XVIII

|Troubled|

Republished bcs wp is shit. :')

1149 words

Author's POV
The clock hits 1.00 a.m. The 6 other members have fallen asleep. But Jungkook just can't sleep, his own thoughts and anxieties were troubling him that night.

Jungkook was staring at the ceiling of his room. He doesn't know why but it looks interesting at that time.

It was one of that times. Times where he doesn't feel good enough. Times where he feels like shit. Times where he felt that he just can't do anything right.

"I've trained for days before the concert, why do i keep messing up?"

"I've warmed up my voice before performing, but why did my voice still cracks at the high note?"

"I've practiced the choreography for hours, but why did i still did the wrong steps?"

"What the hell is wrong with you Jungkook? You can't do anything right!"

"Maybe this whole performing thing are not for me"

"Maybe, i should quit..."

This negative thoughts keep filling Jungkook's head, which is the reason why he can't fall asleep.

He thought, by the hyungs comforting and telling him that making a mistake is a normal thing, this kind of thoughts will go away.

But it didn't.

It just keeps coming back to his head. No matter how many times he tried to get rid of them.

It's like they're haunting him.

He doesn't notice but suddenly something warm falls from his eyes.

Tears.

"You're weak Jungkook, crying just because a small one mistake"

"You thought you're strong but you're not"

"And you will never be"

"You're a big coward"

"You're a weakling"

Jungkook closed his eyes and covered his ears with his pillow.

"G-go away p-please.. Just g-go away!" He whispers brokenly. Trying to shut this voices inside his head.

"You'll always fail Jungkook"

"You'll never do anything right"

"Your fans were just pitying you"

"Your haters are right all this time"

"No one loves you Jungkook, stop telling yourself that someone is"

"You should quit"

"You'll never make it"

"You're a failure"

"NO! NO! GO AWAY!!" Jungkook shouts, hitting his head, trying to make the voices go away.

"IM NOT A FAILURE! JUST PLEASE GO AWAY!!" Jungkook curled himself in the corner of his room.

He's trembling. Hugging his pillows so tight.
"G-go a-away please.. i b-beg you" He whispers again. His tears streaming hard, not stopping anytime soon.

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Jimin was sleeping peacefully, his energy drained because of the concert. He fell asleep the second his body met the bed.