Haikyuu One Shots

Daisuga: Ghosts

never in my life have i ever been more devoid of inspiration

"What are you afraid of?" 

Daichi looked over at Sugawara, confused. 

"What?"

The two were sitting on the deck of their house, looking out over the mountains blanketed in darkness. It was late. 

"What scares you, Daichi?"

Suga kicked at the air. His legs were dangling off the side of the porch, his chest leaning against the posts that kept him from falling off completely. 

"What kind of question is that?"

Daichi was leaning up against the rail, facing the opposite way of Suga. 

"Oh, I don't know. I just feel like it's something I should know about you."

Suga slowly laid down, his eyes looking up at the stars. 

"Um, okay. Well," Daichi paused, trying to collect his thoughts. "I guess I'm not the biggest fan of snakes-"

"Oh no, not like that. We're all at least a little scared of snakes. And spiders. And drowning. And heights. Those are just a bunch of generic fears for people who really just fear pain. Or dying."

Daichi looked at Suga. 

"I'm not afraid of heights."

"Good. That's a stupid fear."

"Do you really want to know what I'm afraid of?"

"Yeah, I do."

Daichi sighed. 

"I'm afraid I'll never find a passion. I'm afraid I'll live my life not knowing what I want, not ever make any kind of difference." 

Daichi hated the way his voice sounded. 

"So you're afraid of unimportance?"

Daichi couldn't tell if Suga sounded bitter or not. 

"Well, when you put it like that..."

"It's okay. If it makes you feel better, you're important to me. You've made a difference to me."

Suga finally looked at Daichi and smiled. Daichi returned the smile. 

"So, what are you afraid of?"

"Being alone, unloved and trivial. Conceited, I know."

Suga laughed to himself. There wasn't much humor in it. 

"It's okay. I love you."

Daichi laid down next to Suga. Suga turned inward so his forehead was touching Daichi's shoulder. 

"Thank you."

Daichi didn't have anything to say, but that was okay. It was a comfortable silence, one of mutual understanding. 

After a few moments, he felt Sugawara's shoulders start to shake. 

"Hey, Koushi, is everything okay?"

Daichi tried to touch Suga's cheek, but the gray-haired boy sat up and pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes. 

"Hey, come on."

Daichi sat up and rested his hand on Suga's back. 

"I'm sorry, I didn't think..." 

Daichi didn't understand, but he waited for Suga to start talking again. 

"I didn't think it would be this bad." Suga removed his hands from his face and looked up at the sky. "My grandpa died 4 years ago."

Daichi hadn't even known. 

"That was the most alone I've ever felt."

Daichi felt his throat closing up. 

"I never want to feel that way again."

"You won't." Daichi was surprised any words even came out. 

He had never been good with people. Not even Suga.

"I can't lose you."

"You won't." Daichi felt redundant.

He didn't know what else to say. 

That seemed to be enough. 

Daichi let Suga cry. He knew it was just the pain from the anniversary of his grandfather's death, but Daichi wanted to do something. Even though he knew there was nothing that could make this better. The only thing that would make this better was time. And even that wouldn't fix it. 

"There's one other thing I'm afraid of," Daichi said after Suga's breaths had evened out. 

"What is it?"

"Ghosts."

Suga looked at him, dead serious. 

"You've got to be kidding me."

"I'm not. They're spooky."

"They're not even real, Daichi."

"You don't know that."

Daichi cut Suga's retort short with a kiss on the lips. When he pulled away, Suga was smiling. 

"At least you're not afraid of heights."

~

hey that was bad and short i'm sorry i just truly cannot bring myself to care anymore

kind of tried a new writing style but i didn't try that hard

i really miss my friends

and i'm tired of being left on delivered by everyone i know

and i'm tired of social media i hate it all

i think i might post a rant/thoughts book so i can do all the ranting i do at the end of one shots but don't have to feel bad about forcing people to read it

and then i can also give all you heathens song recommendations because you all seem to be sorely lacking in the music department 

yeah i think that'd be good 

i have a feeling i won't be updating as much anymore (due to my hatred of social media and my lack of caring)

happier is completely written so that will continue to be updated but one day i might throw in the towel and publish it all at once and then never go on this godforsaken website ever again

not that i don't love and appreciate all of you it's just i cannot deal with anything anymore which includes weird shit on the internet (which is in abundance here) the main reason i'm still here is because there are two fanfics i'm invested in and they are still being updated and i refuse to be left hanging

goodnight thank you for all that you do