Mahal nga kasi kita

42

Chapter 42: Patiently

Marco Valeron's point of view

"Marco..." Kalirea took a heavy sigh, her eyes began to water. Tears running down her cheeks. She covered her face and looked down.
Taking deep breaths every time a tear falls from her eyes.

"Sorry, but I can't."

"What do you mean, you can't?"

"Marco, I'm sorry. I can't return it back"

"Bakit?! Kalirea, bakit?!"

"Mahirap ba ako mahalin? Why can't you just love me?"

"Marco, I love you" Kalirea said looking at me straight in the eye. I could tell that she wasn't lying but why? Why am I so confused?

I couldn't say anything back at her. I feel so happy hearing those words coming out of her mouth. I want to smile, I want to.

"I love you but I'm not choosing you" sabi ni Kalirea at hindi ko mapigilan ang sarili na mapailing. Ramdam ko ang bawat luhang pumapatak mula sa kanyang mga mata.

Ngapakasakit.

"Bakit naman? Am I not enough for you? Still not over Miles? Or is it because of your dad? Kalirea, please make up your mind" I said, she walked to me a bit closer.

"I'm choosing myself" She said, looking up on me with a faint smile on her face. It was a smile, but it was very painful to see.

"I'm going to focus on myself. I'm going to make myself a better person. I'm going to learn more about myself. I'm going to find out if my life has any meaning at all. I want to improve myself. I want to have a better mindset" Kalirea said and paused for a bit. She wiped her tears and took a deep breath

"But you could always do that with me by your side" I insisted

"No..." Kalirea sigh

"Do you know why I want to be better?"

"I want to be better for you" Kalirea said

What? Hindi ko alam ngunit parang biglang sasabog na ang puso ko. Why? Why is she doing this to me?

Bakit niya ito ginagawa para sa akin? When the only thing I wanted was to be with her.

I was taken aback for a moment. She seems sincere about what she said. I don't know how to react to it.

"I'm leaving" Kalirea said. Walking away, not even looking back.

For a second, I just stood there. Then I realize that I want her to stay. I don't want her to leave.

I immediately run to her and hugged her from behind. My hands on her waist.

"Kalirea...I love you. Please don't go" I begged

"I'm leaving" She said once again. She removed my hands from her waist. Agad siyang pumara ng taxi at pumasok sa loob.

Then I was left alone with so many thoughts.

Kung mahal niya ako then why?

She said that she needs to be a better person, that she needs to improve. But she's already better. She's enough for me. Bakit ganito ang kinikilos niya?

Bakit ganito? Masaya ako kasi mahal niya rin ako. Masaya ako dahil narinig ko mismo sa kanya ang salitang "I love you". Masaya ako kasi ang taong minahal ko ng ilang taon ay mahal rin ako.

Pero mahal nga niya ako, pero hindi naman ako ang pinili niya. Mahal niya but I can't be with her. Mahal niya pero bakit ganito?

Pakiramdam ko ako yung talo. Pakiramdam ko lahat ng efforts ko, lahat ng mga ginagawa ko para sa kanya. It was all washed down the sink. It was for nothing.