In The Meadow

Three.

Peetas eyes were soft. They were filled with calmness that had a way of always calming me down. i found the same calmness within hers also. i always feared they'd get my anger that sits within me, the way i build my walls up and it takes a lot to tear them down. neither of  my kids got those bad traits. they are filled with soft, calmness, and loving. everything that peeta is.

"hey mom we ready to go?" oakleys words sung into my ears. i turned around and smiled to my son. my first born, the first sign of innocence that was ever brought into my life and Peetas.

i nod and look back to Willow and Peeta, "primroses it is, auntie prim wouldve loved it. let's go" i said and kissed her cheek. We walked over to the fence and climbed underneath and walked through the woods, that gale and i once trailed through for years. Sometimes, I'd come out here alone and cry missing my best friend. But he is not my best friend anymore, Peeta is.

the sun was bright but it felt great outside. a gentle wind- that suddenly turned into a big gust.

"Dad?" Oakley questioned as we looked up to a giant hovercraft flying over. Willows armed reached around my waste as i flung my hands around my ears. I hated anything that took me back to those days.

"Peeta" i whispered as he took my hand and looked over at me with concern all over his face, why were they here? they only come on the anniversary of the rebellion to congratulate and thank us on our service of freeing panem.

"i dont... know" he answered back like he knew i was asking all the questions in my head.

We finished out our morning hunting as Oakley got a squirrel still mad he cant shoot them in the eye like i can.

"My father buys her squirrels... he says she shoots them in the eye every time"

Willow and Peeta spent the morning trying to learn how to camouflage themselves with just what is in the woods. We walked back to our house and it was filled with laughs over something Oakley said, he has his fathers humor. It stopped instantly when Haymitch and Effie were standing in our living room. Haymitch looks like he could drink and entire cabinet of liquor while effie has tears disrupting her make up she has all over her face.

"Hey.. guys whats wrong?" Peeta asked quickly walking over to them. I dont dare ask or listen.

"Oakley and Willow, why dont you two head upstairs and get cleaned up and ill start on dinner soon, yeah?" i say as Oakley notices the terror in my eyes and he nods grabbing his sisters hands and leading her upstairs to their rooms.

Peeta has a look on his face, the only look I could imagine when we got told we were being reaped back into the games for the quarter quell.

"Peeta" i said quietly, as his hands lifted and was placed on my shoulder. Tears brimmed his eye lids, he was shaking. He was scared to tell me. I looked over to haymitch, who wouldnt dare look me in the eyes.

"Whats wrong Peeta" i said, in a serious tone.

"Katniss..." he spoke. his words continued but as i listened I could only think back to when this all happened.

"Primrose Everdeen"

I watched as my little sister walked up to the stage surrounded by peacekeepers. Her shirt was sticking out the back like a duck. My legs took off towards her.

"Prim!" i yelled as a few tried to grab my arm as i pushed past, "Prim!" i yelled once more. now peacekeepers were pulling me back.

"no! prim! no, let go. I volunteer!" i yelled as a gasp flung from others mouths, "i volunteer as tribute!"

"Katniss stay with me here, talk to me" peeta said pulling me out of my thoughts. But i felt myself slipping into the hissing of the mutts. how could this happen, why is this happening. Peeta pulled me into his trembling grip as i looked straight ahead, not moving, not talking. not anything, everything was blank. All that i held within me over the past years, ones that i had tucked away so so so far away, was coming out and Peeta and Haymitch could see it all over my face.

"Sweetheart listen to me.." Haymitch continued but i toned him out again and he knows it instantly. He knows after those months of me being a mental avox, when i am and im not listening. I pulled out of Peetas grip and i put my hands around his cheeks wiping away the tears staining his face.

"when." i said, the only word i could seem to form.

effie sighed as she walked closer to me, "they are telling families today, and it will be tomorrow" she said crying for us, and for herself knowing shes drug back into it all, and it means the same for peeta, haymitch, and i.

"I remembered, you in the rain. i burnt it on purpose to give it to you. my mother hit me for it, why would i take a beating like that for you?" his words asked as his face seems to be filling back out from how shrunken it had been

"you were kind..some say you loved me." i spoke back, his eyes were dark.

"seems like i would have saved myself a lot of suffering if i had fed it to the pigs"

"What are they telling the families?" i asked as i clinched to peetas side. my hands gripped at his side. trying to hold onto him, to find some sort of stability again.

"That they are holding a symbolic hunger games in honor of all of the lives lost. All kids ages 12-18 will be entered the way it used to be. everything is the same. Except all new prep teams, stylist, and mentors... for obvious reasons." effie says. i want to scream. i want to throw things. i want to scream at peeta and say "i told you so. i knew it!" but no i would never say that to him.

My willow, my sweet willow turns 12 tomorrow. that is 1.

Oakley, my brave and funny boy turned 15. that is 4.

No matter how much we fight. No matter how far we run or who we kill.

The odds are never in our favor.