In The Meadow

Twenty Six.

dead? what does she mean they all thought i was dead. everyone knows i won the hunger games. Peeta died in my arms and once he died i was the only one left, i won.

"what do you mean?" i ask as i welcome her in and she warms up by the fire.

"oh katniss, there was a public announcement of your death. after peetas funeral you went mad. but i knew that didnt sound right, so i finally had the opportunity to come see for myself. of course they would never show such a thing here in 12, because you arent dead. you are alive!" she squeals and pulls me into her embrace. i hush her reminding her of my sleeping kids and babies upstairs.

"has it been that long? goodness!" she whispers as we sit down in the chairs and i of course take place in Peetas, "why would they tell people im dead?" i question and she shrugs.

"im not sure. maybe people found hope again with you in the games and they wanted your image completely erased." she sighs and i nod. it makes sense, im sure everyone expected me to avenge peetas death. but the only time i have left my house is to go yell at haymitch.

"ellie, haymitch said something strange to me in the night" i whisper and she looks away from the pictures of me and peeta placed along the walls and turns her attention to me, "go on" she insists. and i can see it in her face she knows something and i can hear it in her voice like shes begging me to say the words she's wanting , but cant say herself.

"he doesn't think peetas dead." i say and her eyes lose my gaze.

Peetas pov

They play in the meadow. Oakley, Willow and the twins.

the dancing girls with dark hair and the blue eyes. the boy with blond curls and grey eyes, struggling to keep up chasing them as i once did. It took Katniss 5 years to agree to have kids. But I wanted them so badly. When Katniss first felt her stirring inside of her, she was consumed with terror that felt as old as life itself. Only the joy of holding her in her arms could tame it, and tame my own fear. Carrying the boy was easier for her, but not much.

I notice with the twins the questions are just beginning. The old arenas have been completely destroyed, memorials were built, there are no more hunger games, they did away with the symbolic one and only had the one that killed me. but they teach them in school and the two oldest know we played a part in them, saw it with their own eyes. the twins will know in a few years. How can she tell them about that world without frightening them to death without me there to remind her we will be okay, that we have eachother. Our children who take the words for granted in the song katniss is singing to them in the meadow.

deep in the meadow, under the willow. a bed of grass, a soft green pillow. lay down your head, and close your sleepy eyes. and when again they open, the sun will rise.

here it is safe, here it is warm. here the daisies guard you from every harm. here your dreams are sweet and tomorrow brings them true.

here is the place where i love you.

and like her father, as she sings to the kids, the birds fall silent.

Our children who dont know they play on a graveyard. i always told her it would be okay, that we had eachother. but i cant anymore. but she has the book, she can make them understand in a way that will make them all braver. and one day she will explain to the twins about her nightmares. why they came. why they wont ever really go away.

She tells them how she survived it. She tells them that on bad mornings, it feels impossible to take pleasure in anything because she is afraid it could be taken away. like i was. Thats when she makes a list in her head of every act of goodness she has seen someone do. its like a game. repetitive. even a little tedious after more than twenty years.

but, as i was always there to remind her, there are much worse games to play.

and thats where i am, sitting there in the meadow watching them play just like i promised katniss. and she is there, beautiful as she grows with age and so do the kids. and i watch as time goes on and on and she comes out with the twins every morning and eventually gales son comes to play to. and then all the kids grow up and katniss then takes the grandchildren out to the meadow and she sings the song to them as she did as our kids grew up listening to. and as more time passes the older she grows. and its been more than 50 years now and she still weeps for me. i want to hold her, and tell her im here waiting for her. but i cant.

and it isnt until she sees me as i know her time had come and passed and she sees me and shes young again. and her smile is as radiant as the sun and she yells my name.

and i see her running towards me.

"katniss, ive been waiting for you" i say as she comes to jump into my arms and just as im about to reach for her touch shes gone. and im not in the meadow anymore, but my eyes flicker open and i see the dark room surrounding me. i look around frantically, where am i??? im dead! so where i am?

and i felt the cool liquid slip into my arm and im back into my drugged coma and there they all are.

they play in the meadow....

and this goes on and on and on for months. possibly even years. who knows, but i cherish the drugged state dreams of the peace i hope to find one day.

but if there is one thing i know, its that im not dead. and nobody can come to my rescue, because they all think im dead.

but i, peeta mellark, am not dead. im captured once again.