In The Meadow

Twenty.

"mom" her words and tears seeped into my shirt, "whats wrong baby" i say to her and push her hair that was sticking to her face back behind her ears. she sniffled and her eyes that were glossed over with tears, filled with emptiness. there was nothing left in her. I looked over at Oakley who was sitting in Peetas favorite chair staring out the window. his hair was over grown and a small stubble was showing with the sun. he remained emotionless, with nothing but rage in his eyes. i could almost see the fire glowing in them.

"Oakley" i whispered and his head turned towards me for just a moment and then back to the window. looking and waiting, but who was he waiting for?

"Mom i miss him so much" willow sobbed back into my shirt. who? missed who?

"who willow?" she looked at me like i was crazy.

"have you moved on that fast, mom? is it gale now who you love? wasnt it always between dad and him?" Oakleys words came out so full of hatred.

"why would you-" i say and then i take notice of the emptiness of the house. no drawings laying around and no smell of bread every corner you turn. "Wheres dad?" i ask. did he leave me? did he realize just how damaged and broken i really am? no, he loves me. Peeta would never. would he?

"What do you mean mommy?" willow asked now her hands were holding my face.

"Wheres daddy at willow?" i ask again and she looked like she was about to say the words that absolutely destroyed her.

"Dads dead" Oakley said for her and i looked over in his direction, "What do you mean dads..dead?" i ask again and oakley stands up and walks over to me.

"it means you killed him. you didnt protect him. you fled a fight that you two encountered and they killed him. you didnt protect him. you promised youd protect him!!!" Oakley screamed at me and willow ran out of the house.

My eyes shot open and a gasp left my mouth. Where did I go once he told me? did i fall into a cave in the woods by the meadow trying to run and find peeta because there is no way hes dead.

there's absolutely no way, i can't catch my breath. i'm gasping but there's nothing coming into my lungs.

and finally, like my head was lifted up out of the water,
"Peeta!" i screamed and something stirs to my right. "Get away from me!" i yell as arms pull me up into them, but i would know those arms and the safety i felt instantly.

"Katniss, please shh, please calm down shh, shhh, its just me, its Peeta." his words soothed into my ear as his warm breath moved my hair.

"You son of a bitch!" i clawed at haymitch's face, "you promised me youd save him over me! you promised! you're a liar! youre a LIAR!" i yelled as darkness took over.

"I'm sorry, im sorry, im sorry" i screeched into his chest and the way he held onto me covering us up with his jacket and mine he was trying to make my screams go away, so other tributes didnt hear me. because hes not dead, were still in the games. we never left the games.

"its okay, youre okay, i promise" he says between my sobs and with that my eyes, swollen and puffy finally look up into his.

"I love you" i say pulling his face into my hands and down to my lips. i kissed them ever so gently and he deepened it quickly, "i love you too" he says once he pulled away. i looked all around me trying to regain my self after the dream i just had. i had never seen such a thing on a childs face and all i could think was, is that what i'd come back to if Peeta were to die from something i cant protect him from? the kids, hating me?

the morning was silent. no cannons, no strange noises from other tributes. the games were moving slow, this isnt to last long. no, they wouldnt allow it. never. unless their whole motive of the games, is to let us kill off eachother so that, nobody gets out of the games without being killed by another tribute. but thats crazy right? but, they and all of this is crazy. i must have been biting my nails so hard because peetas warm hands held them in his and he dabbed the small amount of blood off of them.

"wanna talk about it?" he asks and i shake my head. no, there would be no point in discussing a life that will never happen. would they be like that towards peeta, hating him for letting me die. sitting and waiting at a vacant window that promises a no return of me. "okay" he says and wraps his arm back around me.

"Will you stay with me?" i ask him because the between my longing for him and the sleep syrup i couldnt help but let the words escape.

"Always"

we sat there for a while enjoying an apple because we decided we wanted something else other than meat. when i realized it stopped. not it, but the rain. it had finally stopped.

"what do you think that means?" Peeta asks making sure out bottles were still filled.

"im assuming everyone is living comfortably right now. wouldnt want that, now would they" i say harshly which peeta returns with a glare. i know im not helping our case but, its true. i know right then and there the cameras were turned off of us and onto another tribute.

"if you go home and i dont" i blurt out before peeta even has a chance to hush me i keep talking, "you cant let the kids hate me, you cant let oakley sit and wait for me to come home, because i wont and you have to make sure willow knows i love her okay? please" i say and peeta begins to shake his head, "katniss-"

"NO. peeta no, promise me because like you said, you cant protect me from the game makers and fog, and monkeys, and freak accidents okay! i have to know you wont let them live life waiting and hurting for me, i-i, i have to know you wont die of old age miserable and alone and the only company you have is haymitch's geese!" i say and he looks down, defeated.

"The locket didnt work did it" Peeta says, even though finnick is right there. even though everyone can hear them.

"It worked." I say.

"But not the way I wanted it to"

"okay" he sighs, "okay i promise to make sure the kids and i live a happy fulfilled life" he says not looking at me.

"without me" i say and he just nods his head, "say it peeta"

"without you" he says before turning on his side and facing away from me.

"To this day, I can never shake the connection between this boy, Peeta Mellark, and the bread that gave me hope, and the dandelion that reminded me that I was not doomed."