In The Meadow

Six.

"You could live a hundred life times and never deserve that boy" Haymitch said as i snatched the bottle from his hands.

"Ive come to drink."

Her eyes frantically looked around, as Prims once did. I noticed everyone was looking at me. Haymitch even had his hand gripped to my shoulder as if was going to fall over but not just fall over; id be falling into the darkness that awaits for me. I watched her walk slowly, step by step as she fiddled with her hands getting up on the stage. Effie grabbed her hand ever so slightly and helped her onto the stage holding her close to her.

"Do we have..any volunteers?" she asks as her eyes met mine. I slowly let go of peetas hand but he tried to grab it back. i placed a kiss on his soft warm lips.

"I love you." i smiled as he shook his head, "real?" he asked as i nodded. "always" i whisper. i knew id get to say a proper goodbye but he needed to see my love for him is endless. i will love him to through the second i take my last breath to whatever happens after so. He needed to see that life will indeed continue on without me, before i stand in front of my children.

"I volunteer as tribute!" i yelled to effie as her glossy eyes have now broke and a tear slipped down her cheek.

i walked to the stage as willow ran down the steps and wrapped her arms around my wrist.

"Prim go find mom. let go, go find mom. prim im sorry" i yelled to her as gale then picked her up from my grip and carried her back to my mom.

"off you go catnip"

"Willow go find dad." i said stroking her hair waiting for someone to push us along, but no one- not even the guards, dare to ruin one of my last times holding my daughter.

"Mom no!" she screeched into my stomach where her face laid, this was no accident as to why my child would be reaped. As if on Que, shes being picked up and taken back to her father, by none other than gale himself.

"off you go catnip" he said quietly; almost as if he didn't want me to here such a thing. I hold effies hand as she announces my name.

"Lovely, your tribute everyone!" she speaks as she walks to the bowl of boys. And this time, i hold no emotion. i huddle over and squeeze my knees as if im going to puke.

"Oakley Mellark" effie says in a complete sob. there's gasps. there's shrieks. and chatter takes over the square. everyone around is looking at eachother they all know this is no coincidence. we couldnt run from what we had done to the past authorities, it had just been a matter of time till time caught up to us.

Willow and Oakley cant not have either parents, ill keep Oakley safe. i look for peeta in the crowd as his eyes reach mine. he nods giving me the okay that he will volunteer but i shake my head no, in which he ignores

"I volunteer as tribute!" Peeta yells and more gasps and talk fills the seam as some were finally catching on to what this is really all about. i shove my face in my hands and cry. Oakley tries to stop his father but its no use. He pulls Oakly into a hug and whispers something in his ear before returning to where willow is now standing sobbing in haymitches arms.

Peeta walked to the stage and walked over next to me.

"Your district 12 tributes, Katniss and Peeta mellark" Effie says with a heavy heart.

We walked into the justice building sobs leaving all of our mouths, haymitch was quick to find us with the kids as peeta pulled them into his grip as i stood there, with a blank stare on my face. The kids needed Peeta to be here, I would have kept Oakley alive and he would have returned to his dad and Willow unharmed.

"Mom" Oakley choked out through the tears bringing me back to reality. i looked over to him and reached my arms around him and pulled him into my embrace. I stood there holding him as i felt him trembling and clinging onto me with everything in him, "dont leave us mom" he whispered so only i could here. i hushed him and placed a kiss along his cheek.

"Walk with me." i spoke walking in the opposite direction leaving the rest behind as Oakley followed gripping my hand.

"You are going to have to make sure your sister finishes her school work on time and- Oakley dont make fun of her for wanting to sleep in your room with you for the time of he games. And, dont let her watch them. okay?" i ask and he doesn't speak, only nods.

"Oakley-" i stop and grab his hands but he stops me, "mom please dont say it" i give him a small smile and wipe his tears away like i did the first time he was placed in my arms.

"Listen to me. You will have to take care of your father when he returns, okay? he will be sad and he will be heartbroken and he is going to struggle to get out bed in the mornings but he will for you and your sister, but just know it almost killed him to smile while waking you two up. You have to be there, you have to notice when to just let him have time alone and Oakley, if you notice your father gripping to something so tightly he might break it or him just allow him to finish it out okay?" I ask and he sobs into his hands knowing what im trying to say here is that he has to take my place, because there's no way i will be returning to district 12.

We walked back to the crowd that's of our friends and family when willow runs up to me wrapping her arms around me.

"Oh my sweet girl" i said softly and stroked her back trying to sooth her. "I love you so so much" i said as she continues her deep sobs into me.

"You and daddy cant leave us" she finally says. i notice the look on my mothers face and i know they can not just have her considering haymitch will be with us and effie will be escorting us.

i sit willow on the ground and grab her hand and then grab oakley who was hugging Peeta, tightly. A similar death grip on him as he had on me.

"Come with me you two there is someone I would like for you to meet" i said, not knowing if this was the right thing. we walked to the guard leaning against the door keeping his head low.

please don't make me regret this.

"Willow, Oakley, meet our friend Gale"