What We Used to Be

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during those 5 days me and mattia finally got over the weird face we were in cause our breakup . We posted tiktoks , pillow fight just did stupid things . One of the days alejandro and kairi came over so it was extra fun. Another one of the days i finally hung out with roshaun and alvaro our of school. It was the final and fifth day of me being here and honestly i didn't want to leave. Mattia was in the bathroom and i was being noisy sorry i know i'm horrible . I checked all his socials and he wasn't talking to anyone . I couldn't even find lauren's snap anymore . He must of blocked her. I put his phone down after hearing him flush and i go on mine . He comes out and sits next to me . We started having a conversation that led to us getting back together. I know that was all that was on his mind but i couldn't just yet. I wasn't ready to date mattia again we were just really good at being friends. So that's exactly what i told him and it lead to a really bad argument. It was so bad i even went home before i was supposed to. (i don't feel like writing out a conversation cuz i'm lazy lol )
A few weeks later *
i think i broke his heart he walked around school with his head low barley even talking to me and the boys. I couldn't see him like this any longer . But what could i do i already said what I said . Don't get me wrong their was a point that all i wanted to do is be with mattia but after him "cheating" and ya falling back into our old friendship I don't know if it's what i want . After school i made mattia walk me home surprisingly he actually said yes i thought after not talking for all this time he wouldn't do it.
you- mattia i hate seeing you like this
mattia- like what
you- so closed off and sad
mattia- you know you could change that
you- i know and i will when i'm ready
mattia - when will you be ready y/n when ? because i've been waiting weeks and i can't wait any longer. Stop messing with my mind just tell me so i can just move one
you- mattia i'm not ready i don't know what i want
mattia- well i do , and i'm not waiting much longer there's other girls that want me and i'm over here looking so stupid for you
you- wow so this is what this is about you seeing other girls ?
mattia- no that came out wrong .
you scoff
mattia- is sorry i can't figure everything out ok i'm sorry i don't know what to not say and what to say . your driving me crazy and i'm willing to deal with it because i love you but i can't deal with it much longer
you- i'm scared
mattia- of what y/n?
you- making the wrong decision and regretting it later
you were in the front of your house at this point
mattia- make it right here rn . I want you to decide
you- mattia please don't do this
mattia- now y/n or i'm gonna walk away
you stood there in silent not knowing how these next words were gonna affect him
mattia started turning around
you- i- i- i just wanna be friends like we used too best friends.
mattia turned around looking at you shocked he sucked his teeth and looked down when he looked back up tears were sliding down his face
mattia- ok
he walked away
what did i just do?