𝙖𝙡𝙚𝙭𝙖𝙣𝙙𝙧𝙖 • 𝙟𝙤𝙝𝙣 𝙨𝙝𝙚𝙡𝙗𝙮 [complete]

••• 18 •••

"ALMOST TWO grand on Black December," Gerald commented as he read through the books. "A lot of people believe in her."

Black December was a relatively new racehorse, having only been entered in two previous races, but she had won both times.

"Who cares what they believe in?" I asked from where I was sitting on the desk. "Either way, we make money."

"Come on, Alex," Finn said as he approached Gerald's desk. "Aren't you at all invested in the races?"

"Am I fuck," I replied with a snort. "Most boring thing in the world, watching horses run. I only come 'cause Tommy makes me." My only role during the races was providing security, as Tommy knew he could count on me to not get distracted by the race.

Finn just shrugged and walked away. The race began in an hour, so we were taking in the final bets in the office as the crowds made their way in. I was more fascinated in people-watching whenever I came to the races; seeing how disappointed or excited they would be. It was almost amusing how intense it would get, with some people betting their life savings on the chance of whether one bastard horse would run faster than another.

The reason why I was perhaps feeling more cynical than usual was because of the bad mood I was already in before arriving to the racecourse. John was ignoring me, Tommy was pissed off at me, and Anselmo's offer of running to Australia was slowly becoming more attractive.

"What are you thinking about, Alex?" Gerald asked, his eyes trained on me.

I shrugged, leaning on the desk with my arms folded across my chest. "Seeing the world. Is it as amazing as people say?"

"I don't know about that," He replied, shuffling through some papers. "But I do know that there's no place like home. Why are you thinking about the world?"

"Just crossed my mind," I said, swinging my legs slightly. "There's so much out there. There's so much more to this world than just Small Heath. The word 'small' is literally in the name. Shouldn't we want something more?"

"I don't," Gerald said bluntly, putting down the papers. "I have all I could ever want right here. A job, a home, you."

"I'm not that special," I said with a laugh. "There's probably a million Alexandras out there."

"Probably," He raised his eyebrows and nodded. "But none of them are you. You're one of a kind."

"You'd be better off without me," I said, trying to convince myself more than I was him. "All I do is cause you stress."

"Nonsense!" He stood up and stepped closer to me. "I'd be lost without you. You're like a... A ray of sunshine, in this bleak old place. You make the bleakness worth it."

His words warmed me, and I just gave him a smile as I didn't know how else to respond.

♤

The race had started, as I walked around looking for interesting-looking people. The building was buzzing with women in pretty dresses and men in smart suits, making me feel out of place in my dusty old coat and trousers. Though I felt comfort from not having to worry about whether I was showing too much cleavage, or whether a man would see a short dress as an invitation to put his hands on me, seeing the girls laugh and float around in their fancy skirts and dresses almost made me envious.

I entered the empty office and saw John standing alone at the desk, so I walked over to him. "John?"

"Alex?" He asked, looking through some small betting cards. "Everything alright?"

Those three words were the most he had spoken to me in five days. Not that I was counting.

"You know, before you got married, how come you liked me?" I asked, immediately feeling like a teenaged girl straight after the question left my mouth.