𝙖𝙡𝙚𝙭𝙖𝙣𝙙𝙧𝙖 • 𝙟𝙤𝙝𝙣 𝙨𝙝𝙚𝙡𝙗𝙮 [complete]

••• 28 •••

THINGS COULDN'T get worse. I was avoiding John for fear that he'd tell me he wanted to end things between us, but I was missing him more than I thought I would. Polly was still infuriated with me and refused to acknowledge my existence. Even Peter was ignoring my knocks and calls, meaning I spent every night alone and sober. 

Brian West arrived one morning at the canal by Charlie's yard, and he was accompanied by around ten other men. Tommy stood in front of me, scanning the men before letting out a sigh. "Is Small Heath not good enough for Adrian Doyle?"

Brian let out a low chuckle as he closed the buttons on his suit jacket. "Not exactly, Mr Shelby. Mr Doyle has businesses to run; if there's any chance that you might refuse to agree to our terms, he doesn't want to have wasted his valuable time."

"I see," Tommy replied, putting his hands in his pockets. "And what are your terms?"

I stood next to Finn while taking a look at Brian's men, before suddenly becoming filled with a heavy unease when I realised that I recognised one of them. 

While Brian and Tommy spoke, I felt my heartbeat speed up and my hands became clammy. I couldn't hear anything being said as I drowned in an intense panic, my hand gripping Finn's arm. My throat felt as though it was being squeezed and I could hardly breathe, which made my chest ache. Before I vomited in front of everyone, I let go of Finn's arm and sped out of the scrapyard. Once I made it to the street, I leaned against a tree, breathing heavily. 

Finn raced after me, grabbing my shoulders as a look of concern filled his features. "Ally, are you alright?"

I couldn't speak, taking in long, deep breaths. Finn placed his hands on my face and pushed my head up so I was forced to make eye contact with him, tears blurring my vision. 

"It's okay, you're okay," He assured me, his eyebrows furrowed while I continued to breathe heavily. "You're safe. I'm here, and you're safe."

I placed my hand tightly around his wrist as calm and relief washed over me, my breathing finally slowing down. The panic gradually died down, and a few minutes later I leaned my head against the tree.

"What happened, Al?" Finn asked, before rubbing his mouth. "I've never seen you like that."

Pulling off my hat, I shook my head. "I don't know." I looked up at him and placed my fingers under my eyes, pressing the tears away. "It's like... you know how the men all went off to war, and saw all those terrible things? Saw all the death and the pain?"

Finn frowned, but nodded. "Yeah."

I sniffed and stood up straight, resting my right hand on my arm cast. "And, you know how when they came back, after going through all the death and pain, they never really were the same?"

He nodded again.

I bit my lip before continuing. "Some of them have nightmares. They can't get the memories out of their heads. Some of them even go crazy, and they think that they're still in the war. That's how I feel. Like I'm back in that... that staircase. Back in that situation, and I can't get away."

He looked confused as he blinked a few times. "Staircase? What staircase?"

My eyes met his and I shook my head, "Never mind. Forget I said anything."

"Are you sure you're alright, Ally?" He asked, a nervous look on his face. 

I gave him a small smile to convince him that I wasn't lying. "Yes, I'm fine. I just need some space."

"Yeah, of course," He said, before going back down to the scrapyard. 

I let out a breath, the smile immediately dropping from my lips. I looked over at the group of men down in the yard, and felt the familiar anxiety building up before I turned away.