Blue is a Sleepy Colour

32- Mirror Gem (Part 2)

Steven continued to scream, begging and crying to whatever unknown force to just make it stop. He didn't want to remember anymore! Make it go away- just make the memories go away! 

Of course, they didn't go away. 

In actuality, they only seemed to get worse the more he remembered. The sensation of being permanently joined to someone he hated with every fibre of his being, a person who made his blood boil at the very mention of their name, a person who only used him for his power. The sensation of an infinite, unbridled rage that coursed through him, and through them as they fused. 

He was so... angry. All the time. Every moment he was Malachite... anger was there. Every second of every minute of every hour. 

The sensation of cold (it was SO cold), algid water that kept him confined to the dark abyss of the bottom of the ocean for what felt like a perilful, but meaningless eternity. The sensation of frosty chains rendering his wrists raw and his screams rendering his throat raw. 

Not to mention the constant feeling of hopelessness. Because he knew nobody was coming to save him. Nobody was ever going to save him from an existence of suffering, living as a big green monster. 

Just Steven and Jasper: alone together. Together alone. Together forever, forever together as Malachite. 

He didn't sleep, didn't eat... how could he? He relied on Malachite, not only to keep him alive, but to keep him sane. Because he knew Jasper wouldn't be able to hurt anyone for as long as she was hurting him. 

As long as they hurt each other. 

Of course, there was so much more. Steven could spend a literal eternity just thinking about every detail of the experience that was Malachite. It was endless.

However, it seemed Lapis was succeeding in snapping him out of it. 

Slowly, he managed to open his eyes. 

Still blank, still pupiless, still empty. 

Lapis had her hands on his face, her brows arched in worry and confusion. She was saying his name, but the ringing in Steven's ears hadn't ceased. 

His hysteric crying eventually reduced to sniffles and tiny hiccups, and he found himself in a tight embrace. Lapis shushed him and stroked his hair, a comfort he had never felt before in his life. A kind of tender care that only one person could give. His gaze drifted to the portrait hung above the door. 

A mother's comfort. 

Any resolve left him, and he threw his arms around Lapis, holding her as close as he could. He willed himself not to start crying again. 

"Lapis... I remembered something." He whispered. 

"Really? What's that?" 

"I had a mom. She was a Lapis Lazuli, just like you. But she's gone now." 

Lapis snorted softly, her body shaking with her gentle laughs. 

"Well I could've told you that. It doesn't really help us fix your gem, so I didn't bother." She said. 

"Does that make you, like, my aunt? Or my sister?" He pondered. 

"I don't know what those are." 

Despite himself, Steven laughed, a small chuckle that meant the world to Lapis. After pressing a quick kiss to the top of his head, she stood up, pulling him up with her. They looked over to Lion, who was still struggling against watery shackles. Steven grimaced.