who is your body for?

159 13 2
by invisiblilly
by invisiblilly
                                    
                                              i.               this is the kind of writing that gets dirty, it gets filthy. child. look at me. tell me what you are. tell me what you are if not a concept created by men. tell me what you are if not anything other than young, reckless, more than a little stupid. angel-eyed. saintlike. fragile. unfettered. all bent-knees. child. look at me. tell me.
                          WHO IS YOUR BODY FOR? 
                          ii.              child. look at you. spend lifespans falling mercilessly in love, only to fall on your knees, only to choke up your own heart. letting men look at you over like you are nothing more than a frail, tenuous creature. letting strangers shove their fingers in your mouth. letting them fuck you in dirty bathrooms. trying to play the role of Woman instead of Girl. all desire and decay. your body as an animal that is easily tamed. 
                          WHO IS YOUR BODY FOR? 
                          iii.            you're lonely and you're sad and your brain has never really been attached to your skull. sit quiet. master self-destruction behind half-hearted smiles and the desperation that comes with being this way. relearn the sacredness of touch. cling onto their words as if it were the gospel. let them press their imbecile theories about the universe into the soft spaces between your ribs, your thighs.  let them carve their names into your sternum. let them fuck you hard on a second-hand mattress. get rid of everything between your bones for them. become quieter. softer. less volatile. easier to swallow. child, look at yourself. you are relentless. goddamn, goddamn. 
                          WHO IS YOUR BODY FOR? 
                          iv.             pretty, pretty pretty. and they're hungry, they're ravenous for your skin, for your mouth, for your hands. and it's all disgusting and familiar. your body hasn't been yours for a long time and all they want to do is to use it as a weapon, as ammunition; they want it violently. their fingers around your throat, their hands grabbing your wrists. 
                          is this how you like it? 
                          what do you even know? you've never been given blueprints to your mind, to your body. you love it because you're oblivious, because you don't know any better. what do you do now, child? 
                          WHO IS YOUR BODY FOR? 
                          v.              you've never learned how to be ferocious, how to let your beast show its teeth. you've never learned how not to be wanted. all desire and decay. and it's rather distasteful and inglorious of you, but it happens. child, look at me. 
                          this is how you carry ghosts in the back of your throat. 
                          this is how you let love put you on your knees. 
                          your body was never no one else's but your own.