Control✔

22.✔

Sam's POV

When I came to Amelia sat in front of me, a cigarette in her mouth.

"Why dont you just kill me" I ask, my voice hoarse. She tsks.

"Darlin why do you have to think so morbid. I dont want you, I want your mate" she states. My head snaps up.

"Why are you doing this to us. Isn't it bad enough that you abandoned us. Almost killed dad-"

"I loved your father Samuel" I laugh bitterly. "Well you have a seriously fucked up way of showing it"

"It wasnt easy being with your father. Going against my family wishes, becoming a mother-"

"No one asked you to do those things Amelia. If it was so hard why didnt you just abort me, spare me the pain of being motherless for 11 damn years" I could feel all my untouched emotions boil over like a hot pot on the stove.

"Samuel it isn't as easy, as black and white as you make it sound" she cries.

I shake my head "That's rich Amelia, because you made it that easy. You packed up your shit and hightailed it out of there. You didn't care about us–"

"My father–your grandfather wanted me to abort you. He said that he'd rather have a dead grandchild than a hunters. I was a disgrace to my entire family. I was broken, after I had you I fell into this deep depression. Not even ya father could get me out of it–"

"Spare me the sob story" I interrupt. Her hand whips across my face.

"Dammit Samuel! I loved you, I thought about you and your father every damn day-"

"Than why didnt you come back!? Huh? He would've welcomed you, so would I. We wouldn't have turned you away!" Hot tears rolled down my cheeks.

"Its not so black and white baby" she says. "All I ever wanted was to know why you left us. Why we– why I wasnt good enough. What did we do, what did I do" my voice cracked, and so did my heart all over again.

"Dont you dare blame yourself Sammy I needed a break-"

"11 years worth of a break ma?" She shakes her head. "It wasnt suppose to be like that- like.. like this. I wanted to come back but how could I. How could I look you in the eyes after everything"

"The same way your looking me in the eyes right now trying to explain yourself. Make it okay, justifying your actions, the same way you looked in his eyes and watched him get tortured. That's how" I could barely form words.

"Samuel I'm sorry. I just I didnt know what I wanted, and i thought if i just left and got some freedom. Cleared my head it would've been okay, and i know I've done so much wrong. But I'm sorry baby please, you have to understand." She begged.

"I hate you. I never thought I could hate you mom, not in a million years. But I hate you– I hate you. You didnt love us, you didnt care. We meant nothing to you"

"Sam-"

"No you keep saying you wanted a break. Mothers and fathers all over the fuckig world want a break. But that's not how parenthood works mom, you dont get a break. You dont just up and run because the going gets tough. You don't abandon your 7 year old and his father because you needed a break" I sobbed. I sobbed so hard.

"Dad wanted a break! He needed one– he deserved one. When you left he went on so many drinking binges. 7 years old and I was taking care of him, because you broke him. You shattered his heart, his pride. You were his world and you burned it all down." My eyes meet hers, and I can the see the regret, the guilt.

"How dare you say you needed a break? Huh Amelia?"

"Sammy if I could take it back I would. Darlin I would but, we cant turn back time. And Stephan is a ruthless man, and as much as I love you I fear him more" she states.

I smile, a sad broken smile "Than kill me. Kill me mom. I'd rather die than help you, I'd rather have my tongue snatched from my fucking mouth than help you. I'd rather be dead!"

"Stop it Samuel!"

"No Mom! You didnt deserve us" she gasps.

"You never deserved us, how dare you even call yourself a mother. How dare you make it seem like your life was this hell on earth. You dont deserve anything but the same darkness you left in us. The same emptiness, I wish you could feel all of it" I sit up, my face a mess, my heart hurting.

And out of all of this I still love my mom, I still wanted her in my life. How fucking sick was that?

"Sammy I'm sorry" she gets up pushing the chair back. Going towards the door.

"No Amelia I'm sorry, because I will kill you. You think your biggest regret was leaving" I laugh.

"No it was keeping me alive."

"Are you threatening me?" She questions.

"No mom, it's a promise. I will watch the light leave your eyes. I promise" she slams the door shut behind her, and I'm left in darkness.