Killpop

Drowning

She's drowning in herself again,
My god, what a lovely sin

(Your point of view)

Last night was awful. You cannot believe Joey would do that to you. You keep trying to convince yourself that it was just the alcohol but that only makes you madder.
You sit at your bed with empty beer cans and beer bottles scattered around the room, you're currently chugging another beer. You lost count of how many you have had after the tenth one. Your room looks like shit and so do you but right now you don't care you just want to stop thinking, you just want your brain to turn off. You hop up and stumble a little as the room spins. You go to your fridge and grab out another pack of beer and wobble back to your room. Your head is spinning, and you feel yourself slipping into a wonderful bliss of nothing. You open the beer quickly. As you look over at your clock you notice it is seven a.m. You have been drinking nonstop since three a.m. You feel another wave of anger hit you and you chuck an empty can at the wall.
​"Fucking cunt!" You yell.
You lay down and continue drinking. Alcohol has always been your outlet when things get tough or you just want an escape from the world.
You hear a knock on the door, but you decide to ignore it and focus on a bug crawling across your floor.
The knocking gets louder and faster which agitates you.
​"Shut the fuck up!" You yell hoping that who ever is at the door will understand that they need to leave.
The knocking silences and you smile to yourself as you open another beer. Right when you're about to take a sip the knocking starts up again.
​"For fucks sake leave me in peace!" You yell.
You stagger to your feet and walk into your main room. You trip on something and land on the floor. You feel your leg get cut.
​"Fuck!" You yell.
You shrug it off and stumble to the door. When you open the door you scoff when you see who it is, it's Joey. He stands there with a box of chocolates and some flowers. When he sees the state your in he drops the stuff in his hand and catches you as you fall.
​"Holy shit (Y/N)," He panics as he helps you up.
​"T-the fuck do you want," you slur.
Joey helps you inside and shuts the door.
​"(Y/N) what the fuck happened?" he asks.
​"You cheated on me remember," You chuckle.
You push him off you and walk to your room, Joey follows close behind. When Joey sees your room he starts muttering profanity.
​"(Y/N) how much did you drink?" He asks.
​"I don't know. Four or five packs," You giggle.
​"Holy fuck girl, how are you even still awake?" Joey asks.
You shrug and sit down.
​"It's because my fucking mind won't shut up," You growl.
You reach for the random knife that is lying on the ground, you're so drunk you don't even remember why it's in your room. 
​"You know some times I just wish I could just cut it out," You laugh.
You press the blade against your forehead and slowly drag it down. Joey grabs the knife from your hand and throws it across the room.
​"(Y/N) stop it," He whimpers.
​"What's wrong Joey, scared of a little blood," You mock.
Joey rolls his eyes and begins cleaning up around the room.
​"You need to leave," You tell him, you don't like the fact that he's ruining your mess.
​"I'm not going anywhere. You're clearly not in a state where you should be alone," Joey tells you.
​"What you don't think I can take care of myself huh? I've done a pretty damn good job all my life," You growl.
​"I never said that," He mutters as he grabs out a trash bag.
​"Get out," You mumble.
​"I'm not leaving," He says again this time he stops and looks you dead in the eyes.
​"Get out!" You scream as you jump up and down throwing a temper tantrum.
​"No," Joey says sternly.
​"No? No? Who the fuck do you think you are huh? You can go filling on some slut and then just expect me to welcome you back into my life," You yell.
​"(Y/N) you need to calm down," He says.
​"I'll calm down when you get the fuck out of here!" you growl.
Joey doesn't say anything back he just continues cleaning up. You sit down on the floor and grab another beer. Joey looks over and then kicks the can out of your hand.
​"What the fuck! If you're going to stay then you're not allowed to stop me from drinking," You scream.
Joey scoffs, clearly not a fan of your attitude. You can see that he is trying so hard not to lose
his temper with you. He grabs the pack of beer and carries it out of the room.
​"Come back with that shit!" You screech.
You run out into the hall and try grabbing it from Joey. Joey turns around and stares at you, you can see he's so close to snapping.
​"What you gonna do Joe. You gonna hit me huh? Scream at me? Make me your little bitch?" You taunt.
Joey takes a couple deep breathes and looks at you again this time he looks a lot more calm.
​"(Y/N). I'm sorry. I was an ass hole and you don't deserve that but what your doing right now isn't good. Drinking isn't going to magically make your problems go away believe me I know," Joey tells you.
​"I don't need you to apologize. I need you to leave," You whisper.
Joey just shrugs and walks to the door. He opens the door and steps out.
​"Wow, he actually left," You think.
You go to your room and start crying. You didn't want him to leave, and now your alone again with your thoughts.
You grab the blanket off your bed and wrap it around yourself. Your crying turns to loud heavy sobs as your brain tells you all the things you don't want to hear.
​"See, he doesn't love you," The voices in your head say.
You burry your face into the blanket and cry even harder. Suddenly you feel arms wrap around you and you hear Joey's voice.
​"Shhh... it's going to be okay," he tells you.
You look up at him and then burry your face into his chest as you cling on to him. Your sobs cause both of your bodies to shake. Joey holds you and smooths down your hair.
​"It's okay," he tells you over and over again until your crying slows down.

Eventually you stop crying and instead you're just gasping for air.
​"P-please don't leave," you whisper.
Joey pulls you into his lap and you curl up against him.
​"like I said, I'm not leaving," He chuckles.
You nod and close your eyes. You feel the alcohol finally overpowering you and you slowly drift into a deep drunken sleep. You feel Joey pick you up and place you in bed. You don't let go off him the whole time.

(Joey's point of view)

(Y/N) finally fell asleep. She's still clinging to me like a bear so I just cuddle in with her and try and get comfortable.
I feel horrible, it's my fault that she drunk herself into oblivion. I'm just glad she didn't get alcohol poisoning or do anything stupid while she's drunk.
My shirt is now soaked in her tears, so I carefully slip it off. I feel (Y/N) nuzzle my bare chest and I smile down at her.
She is so perfect; she's an angle and I don't deserve her at all. I'm glad I got here at the time I did because I don't know what would have happened if she had finished that last pack. I look around the room and it's still a mess, there's beer cans and bottles everywhere. There's broken glass from where she threw some of the bottles, there's red stains on the walls that look like her blood. I look down at her and let out a sigh of relief when I don't see any major cuts. There's a knife in the corner of the room, I don't even want to know what she was planning on doing with that.
​"I'm sorry," she mutters against me.
I kiss her head.
​"I'm sorry John," She mutters her voice sounds terrified.

John? Why is she apologizing to her shitty ex.

​"I'm sorry I'm such a slut and that I can never please you. Please don't hurt me," She whines in her sleep.
I hold her closer to me and kiss her on her head again. I swear to fuck if I ever see John again, I'm going to fucking kill that bastard. I have a feeling that he's the cause of her drink habits, but I don't know much about what happened in their relationship, she doesn't like talking about it.
I look around the room again to see if there is anything I missed and that is when I notice something shinny in the corner of the room. I squint to try and see what it is, but it is no use, I'm to far away.
I feel (Y/N)'s grip around me loosen so I carefully slip out of her bed and over to the corner. As I get closer, I notice that the shinny thing is a little blade. I pick it up and take a closer look at it. On the handle of the blade is a little ribbon that has some writing on it. The writing is pretty faded so it take me a second to be able to read what it says.

"Bad girls get punished"

I gasp as I read the writing. Underneath the writing is some one's initials. The initials are J.H. which I can only assume is John.
"Did he use to punish her with this?" I wonder.
I put the blade in a drawer. I get back into bed with (Y/N) and she automatically wraps her arms around me.
I feel myself getting tired as well so I wrap my arms around (Y/N) and close my eyes.

(A/N):
Sorry for short chapter. Thank you for 400 views!!!!