Chapter 23 The Truth

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I changed my clothes into my pajamas, brushing my teeth. I stared at myself in the mirror. I needed to tell him but I didn't know when the right time was. I sighed and I run a hand through my hair. I walked to my bed and Bucky was already there sitting uncomfortably on the side of the bed in his t-shirt and shorts I bought him. I give him a smile. I lay down and Buck lays down next to me. I hesitate but I cuddled into him. It felt like forever that I've laid with Bucky before. I barried my face into his chest as he put his face into my neck. I just couldn't fall asleep. My thoughts were racing thinking if ways I should tell him I can't have kids. I know he will take it okay. Well I hope so.. I bit my lip and I sit up. I need to stop being a baby and just tell him. Better sooner then later.

   "Buck I need to tell you something" I say quietly and nervously fidgeting with the blanket

   He sits up slowly "what's wrong?"

  I didn't make eye contact with him. "Ican'thavechildren" I say quietly and quickly

  He puts a hand on my shoulder gently. "I couldn't hear that please say it slower"

  I looked into his eyes. Tears were brimming in my eyes. "I can't have children"

   Bucky went silent. I just sat there in fear of what he would say. I wiped my tears away not wanting them to fall.

  Bucky finally opens his mouth to say something. "Amber that doesn't stop me from loving you. Just because you can't have kids doesn't mean I'm going to leave you. After everything we've been through I couldn't just leave you. When did you find out?"

    I felt a wave of relief after he speaks and I let out a small sigh. "When we went clothes shopping"

    He pulls my into a big hug as I barried my face into his neck. He lays down with me on top my face still barried into his neck. He just held me not saying anything.
      Slowly I started to relax. Everything was so quiet. You could hear cars passing. Soon a porter patter started. It was raining. Neither of us spoke. It was so relaxing and it was the first time we finally got to relax without anyone trying to wipe our memories or kill other people.
   We knew they were after us and we would have to keep an eye out for them. But it was our night. We didn't think about anything just listened to the soft pitter patter of the rain.
     A while after I could tell Bucky had finally fallen asleep because I could feel his breaths were deep but soft. I didn't move because I didn't want to wake him. I smiled as how relaxed he was right now.
    I closed my eyes and focused on the rain and his fresh earthy scent with a hint of vanilla. It was alike a calming remedy. I could start to feel myself slipping into a deep sleep as I laid on top of him. His arms are wrapped around my waist in a protective way as he slept. I finally let myself fall into a deep relaxing sleep. Who knows what will happen tomorrow. All I know is that we will go through anything together.
      The rain was soft. Not hard and down pouring but the type of rain that is soft and light that cools everything down.
    

      It was morning when we had awoken from our deep sleep. We laid there for a while longer before getting up.

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