I Hate You

Chapter 7

I look around and wonder what to do with myself. Cole left and he won't be back for another 30 minutes. So I may as well waste my time while I wait for the food.

I collapse on the couch and turn on my TV. It's sweet not having a family sometimes. You get everything to yourself and you don't have to fight about what show you want to watch on the TV. This makes it so much easy to binge watch Grey's Anatomy.

I open Netflix and click on the first episode. I've watched this episode millions of times. It's so good that I can't get enough of it, especially seeing Derek alive again!

I snuggle into the couch and pull a blanket over my body, everything seems so cold now. I quickly stand up and plant my feet on the ground. Getting ready for the cold pain striking my feet, but it still hurts when it comes. I walk over to the heater and crank up the heat. Okay, that should do the trick.

Then I see something strike the window only 2 feet away from me. It makes me flinch and I shriek in result. I feel my blood coursing through my veins like a train going full speed ahead. I slowly walk towards the window, taking one step at a time. The whole time, all I could hear was my heartbeat getting faster and faster. When I reach the windowsill I raise my hand slowly, until something hits the window again.

This time I shriek and and drop to the floor. Curling up into a ball. My head pounds like a 10 pound weight is smashing itself against my skull. I put my hand against my head and put pressure there. I feel my hand shake against my head.

Then I feel a tear slip through my clenched eyes and making it's way down my cheek, to the crook of my neck. It only takes one thing to make everything come crashing down on you. A second later, I'm full on crying and rocking back and forth, while trying to relax and think good thoughts. Blocking everything bad trying to get through into my thoughts.

I try to remember the moments of joy in my life. The chocolate ice cream I always loved, the small teddy bear I got for my birthday from Cole, the gray shirt my dad always wore. I remember clutching it in my hands while I hugged him as I cried, feeling the soft, but firm material on my face-

Memory:

I feel myself going backwards and my back feeling something soft but firm material, before I realize what just happened he turns me around so I'm facing him. 

Present:

I rock myself back and forth even harder, letting the tears run down my face like a waterfall. the way he gripped my hand. I reach my hand other to the arm he grabbed and touched it lightly. even with the lightest touch, it hurts. 

I want him gone, gone forever. He left something on me that'll always remind me of what happened that day. When the bruise is gone, it's still gonna be there. There in my memory.

I let out a sobbing moan at that thought and clench my hands against the fabric of my jeans.

I shut my eyes as tightly as I can and block out everything around me, but I still keep rocking. It's the only thing that still makes since at this moment. The only thing that makes me feel grounded.

I rock back and forth when I hear a knock at the door.

I rock back and forth when I hear someone call my name.

I rock back and forth when I hear a loud slam

when I hear my name being called

when I hear silence

when I feel a touch on my shoulder, I keep rocking.

back and forth, back and forth.

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AUTHOR NOTES:

hopefully you like this chapter! I feel very proud of this one!

please vote and comment if you want!