everything i wanted ; Billie eilish

15

I wake up in the morning with billie being kidnapped off my sister. She wanted to have breakfast and hang out with her friends and have billie there with her too show off. I don't really see billie as famous anymore, i know she is. But to me she's just a little goofball softie, she'd kill me for saying that.

Lazily, i roll out of bed and open my curtains, blinding myself with the sunlight. I brush through my hair in my mirror and change into some biker shorts and an oversized blohsh t-shirt.

I head downstairs and see Billie sat on the table with all my sisters friends surrounding her as they speak to who i'm assuming is finneas on the phone. She looks at me and smiles widely, i admire her look considering she's still in the sweats she slept in.

I walk up to the table and grab Billies phone out of her hand, causing a groan from my sister.

"Hey finneas" I say at the guy on the screen.
"Lexiiiiii" he says happily. Suddenly, Claudia comes running towards him and appears in the camera.

"my baby!" she says pointing at me.
"omg claudia i miss you" i tell her. Me and her really bonded on tour, i spent most of my time with her as billie and finneas we're constantly busy all the time.

"You need to come to LA" Finneas tells us. "You and bil could stay at our house and we can party" Claudia adds.

"yesssss" i reply.

I say my goodbyes to Finneas and Claudia before giving bil the phone back and making myself some toast.

My mom and dad come in the room and kiss me on my forehead before grabbing some coffee. "We're thinking of all going to the beach villa and staying there for a bit, your brothers staying with his girlfriend and there's a huge heatwave coming" my mom says, sipping on her drink.

My sister jumps up and down in excitement, she loves the beach villa because there's a guy next door she has a crush on. "yes i'm going packing some stuff" she says and runs upstairs to her bedroom, her friends following her.

I roll my eyes and take the spare seat next to Billie. She smiles at me cutely and i smile back.

"You'll love the beach villa" i tell billie hitting her thigh lightly. She raises her eyebrows at me and bites her lip.

"Id love to stay there" bil replies smiling. I get my phone out and begin showing billie photos of the villa.

"Bro that's huge" she says, moving her chair closer to me so she can get a better look of my phone.

"it was my uncles and then he left it to us in his will before he passed, it's a good place to go and think and relax" I say. A disappointed frown grows on billies face as she looks at me.

"I'm sorry about your uncle" she says, gazing into my eyes.

"It's okay bil, it was a while ago now, sure my dad was heartbroken and i think he still is partly as they were brothers, but he still has this piece of him" I explain her. She nods and puts her hand on the top of my leg, staring into my eyes. We stay like this for a while, until I see my mom come back into the room, making me pull my gaze away.

"Go get your stuff ready then ladies" She tells me and bil. We nod and head upstairs to my room. Billie grabs her clothes to get ready and i pack som me of my stuff in my bag. She pecks my cheek and enters the bathroom so get dressed.

I choose myself an outfit and change into it before Billie comes out of the bathroom.

"Woah cutie" Billie says smiling at me. I roll my eyes and laugh. She helps me pack some clothes, including like 4 different swimming costumes and bikinis.

I don't really know what's going on with me and Billie right now. We kiss and all that shit, but nothing can happen, she's a celebrity and i'm her part time tour photographer.

/////
It's night time now. We made it to the beach house a while ago, and i missed it a lot. Bil and I are now lay outside by the fire.

Billie puts her arms around me as I lean into her body, her holding me safely. She kisses the top of my head lightly and sighs.

"can i ask you a question?" I say looking out towards the sea in the distance.

"of course you can" she replies softly. I sit up and turn so i'm now looking at her. The outdoor lights making her eyes glisten and her skin glow. She really is everything.

I snap back into reality and sigh, looking down at my hands which are tangled in billies.

"What are we?" I ask her, studying her face to figure out her reaction. She frowns her eyebrows in disappointment and runs her spare hand through her hair. This doesn't seem good.

"I needed to talk to you about that while i'm here" she pauses, before carrying on her sentence. "Lexi, i haven't told you this but I love you, i really do and i haven't felt that in a while...".

"But?" I say, dreading her next words.

Billie breathes out and puts her head down for a second before looking at me again.

"I want you, i want to make you happy and keep you safe but i can't. I can't make promises to anyone or get attached because of who I am and what I do. I've tried the secret relationship thing, it doesn't work, me and the person just end up hurting each other. I don't want to hurt you Lex. But i physically can't have anything out in the public as people are so judging and it could effect me massively. It would also effect your life a lot too, you'd be constantly questions by press, you wouldn't have a life lex. I don't want that for you"  she admits, the sadness in her voice fills the air.

A tear falls down my face and Billie puts her hand on my cheek to wipe it away but i stop her. I know this isn't her fault, she can't help any of this and i know she's hurting. But i don't want to be this close to her and have her touching me when we both know it means something different to the both of us.

"I understand" I say quietly.

"I'm sorry Lexi, i came here wanting to have fun with you and spend time with you but i'm a dickhead for thinking i could stay here without wanting you so badly" she says, now crying lightly too.

"Don't cry bil please" I tell, watching a tear roll off her face.