Psycho

46

{Allison}

When I hear my phone ring I see that Stacy is calling me.

'Hey,' I say as I pick up.

'Allison!' she sighs. 'I just heard about Asher. I'm so sorry. Are you okay?'

'No,' I admit. 'But I will be, hopefully.'

'I understand,' Stacy says. 'What happened? I heard he assaulted you.'

'Yeah, he wanted to have sex and wanted to get back together,' I mumble. 'And he started touching me. So then I lost it and pushed him off of me, and then well...' I bite my lip and blink the upcoming tears away.

'All, please don't feel guilty,' Stacy says.

'How could I not?' I hiss. 'I killed him, Stacy. I fucked up.'

'Yeah, but he came at you,' Stacy tells me. 'You were just defending yourself. You couldn't let him rape you, could you?'

'At least he would've still been alive,' I mumble.

'Allison, don't talk like that,' she says. 'It was an accident. Don't be so hard on yourself.'

'I just need time to process things,' I sigh. 'I've never been through this before.'

'I understand,' Stacy says. 'If you need anything, call me okay?'

'I will,' I say. Just at that moments Evan walks into my room. 'Stace, I have to go.'

'Okay, good luck with everything.' When I hang up Evan walks towards me and sits down next to me on the bed.

'Who was that?' he asks.

'Stacy,' I answer. 'She wanted to know what happened with Asher.' Evan nods and wraps his arm around me.

'Hey All, I was thinking...' Evan mumbles. 'I can't stay here forever. So maybe I should go back to my dorm.'

'What?' I ask startled. He can't leave. I need him here, with me. How am I supposed to handle things without him?

'I also spoke to your parents about it,' Evan says. 'They also thinks it's for the best if I leave.'

'But what about me?' I whisper. 'I can't do this without you. You're the only one who understands what I'm going through.'

'You could come with me,' Evan mumbles. 'But I can't stay here, Allison. I just met your parents. They need space, and me too.'

'I can't leave,' I mumble.

'You can always call me,' Evan says as he grabs my hand, intertwining our fingers. 'And I can always stop by. I just can't be here all day. But I'll never be far away from you, okay?' I nod and let my head rest against his shoulder.

'I don't know how to do this,' I admit. 'I don't know how to forgive myself.'

'Give it time,' Evan says. 'You'll be okay.'

'Okay,' I whisper.

'I should go now,' he sighs and I nod, but neither of us moves. His fingertips are gliding up and down my back.

'Allison?' A knock on the door follows.

'Yeah?' The door opens and my mother walks in.

'Do you want something to eat?' she asks. 'I could make you some soup, or toast maybe?' I shake my head. I'm not hungry, at all.

'All, you should eat something,' Evan says. 'And you should get some sleep after that.'

'Okay,' I mumble. My mother smiles softly and leaves the room again. Evan places a kiss on my head before he gets up.

'I'll go home now,' he says. I get up as well and follow him downstairs.

'Text me once you're back at your dorm,' I say to him.

'I will.' He kisses my lips before he opens the front door. 'I'll see you soon, okay?' With one last kiss he leaves. I sigh and walk into the living room where my father is sitting on the couch.

'Hey, Allison,' he greets me. 'Are you feeling better?' I shrug my shoulders and take a seat on the other couch. Just then my mother walks out of the kitchen and hands me a cup of soup.

'There you go, sweetie,' she says. I smile lightly and take the spoon to let the soup glide into my mouth.

After half a cup I feel full, so I put the cup on the table.

'I'm going to try to get some sleep,' I mumble. My parents nod and watch me as I walk out of the room, back upstairs to my bedroom. I change into my pajamas and crawl into bed.

I already miss Evan. I miss his strong, muscular arms around me as I fall asleep. Just as I want to close my eyes I get a text from Evan, telling me he's arrived at his dorm. I smile and close my eyes, drifting off to sleep.

'You killed me.' Asher looks at me, his face full of bruises. 'Are you happy now? You're a murderer!'

'I should've taken you with me,' he says then. 'You don't deserve to life. You're a liar, a cheater and a murderer!'

'How did it feel to push me?' he asks. 'Did it feel good? Do you want to do it again? I bet it felt great to finally push me down the stairs, to finally have me dead. That's all you've ever wanted, isn't it? You just waited for the right moment to do it.'

My eyes shut open and I look around me. Nobody is in my room. I sigh and let my head fall back into the pillow. My whole body feels sweaty, but I couldn't care less. I need Evan, now. I grab my phone and call him.

'Allison?' he asks with a sleepy voice.

'Did I wake you?' I mumble.

'It doesn't matter,' he says. 'What's up?'

'I just had a nightmare,' I stammer. 'And I... I don't know what to do.'

'I had nightmares as well in the beginning,' Evan says. 'It's normal. I understand you're scared, but just remember, they aren't real, okay?'

'I want you with me right now,' I whisper as I feel a tear leaving my eye.

'I know, baby,' he says. 'Drink some water, okay? You'll feel better.'

'I can't' I mumble. 'I'm scared.' I don't want to leave my bed. I don't want to walk past the stairs.

'Allison...' Evan sighs. 'I'm so sorry I can't be with you right now. But you can't let this control your life. It happened and you can't do anything about it anymore.'

'I know.'

'Try to get some sleep again,' Evan says. 'Dream about me this time. I'm much more fun to dream about. Dream about us, lying on a white beach together.'

'I'll try,' I say.

'I love you,' Evan tells me.

'I love you too,' I say before I hang up. I put my phone away and close my eyes again. About an hour later I finally fall asleep.

(Only one chapter left... What do you think will happen?)