V for Vendetta x reader (abused fem)

Outtakes part 1 - "Turned On Yet V!?"

★A/N★ I don't know where this fits in, say it's in between parliament getting eaten out by fire andv and you getting it on, I dunno, enjoy, it's supposed to make you laugh... Hopefully I did a good job. 😌😂🤘★

It was a warm evening, the day had been worse but you had been in the shower for basically the while day, so only V had to deal with the horrible heat. You did feel kinda guilty, especially since he was left out there alone..

"V!!" Your voice bleeding into every crevice and cranny of the Shadow Gallery. In rushed V, he slid to a halt on the polished, stone floor.

"What is it?!" He asked, panicked by your suddenness. You flippantly say,

"Well you know.. it's hot isn't it?" V's once tense muscles slumped and he skulked towards you on the sofa. "Nuuu... You're hot! Like.. in every SINGLE way!... Right you know what, I know what I'm going to do!... Sit, boy!" V as startled as could be, sat on her command.

Just as he sat, you lay, face down on the polished, stone floor and said, while being muffled by the floor, you managed, "ooooo, diss is so nice and cold!" you shudder in a happy attempt to get cooler.

V joined you, he lay on his back next you and you laugh at his attempt to get cool as well, but he just finds it extremely rude! You could've laughed at that too, if you weren't already laughing about V's petty habits of copying you.

"Hey, V!" You caught his attention, seem as he rolled over to face you with his quizzical as ever mask. You confronted, "I got a quote fit for this scene!!... Well, for when you came in!" He tried to tilt his head but lying down and doing said action doesn't exactly combine well. ... He ended up stroking his now sore neck.

You cleared your throat and quoted, "Speak of the Devil and he will surely appear!" V laughed and sighed to cover his laughter. You smiled widely and said, "that's all I got" then you both laughed and the clock struck 8pm. "Wow, that late?-"

"-Time flies when you're having fun~" V answered you, you giggle and say,

"Dang, I knew that one, shoulda been my line!!" You roll over to face him more and punch his chest playfully. V watches your hand like he thought it was a real fight, but then just huffs a laugh as well.

The TV was still on and you got up to turn it off, then saw it was some cat videos on You've Been Framed and had to watch them, V joined you.

"What do you find so enticing about creatures either getting terrified, hurting themselves or wearing stupid outfits?... If this is what you get off on, lord help us!" He commented, playfully.

"Tch, you in fancy dress would be funny to be honest, not that that apron or your socks count, cuz some guy at anime con would loooove a pair of your boxers!... Hey you'd get a lotta dough for that! Damn!" V stiffened and replied,

"HOW DO YOU KNOW WHAT MY UNDERGARMENTS LOOK LIKE?!"

"... Really?!"

"YES, REALLY!! ... WELL?! WHAT SAY YOU, Y/N?! WHAT SAY YOU?!"

"Chill. I did your washing, remember?... Brain like a sift, body like a sex toy. Damn, why do I always choose these guys?.. Are they like... My type?!"

V burst out in laughter at that and you knew exactly why. He nodded, satisfied with your answer but couldn't help the tears of laughter to cascade continuously from his cheeks.

You sighed and went to get up but he takes you by the wrist and hugs you... V... Hugged... You.

"Woah, now I'm really worried about you?!" You said, sarcastically. V chuckled and said,

"You always make these days more fun, thank you, y/n." You smile into his chest and then realise the body part against you, considering how much taller he is than you, you could feel his entire length.

"Oh boy!" You squeal, he notices also and stutters out a reply,

"I uhh... It's not that... Don't think it's that... That.. Is something in my pocket--"

"-- I know what it is V, it's okay, you don't have to hide it from me, you could show me if you want" at that V blushed even darker shades than red beneath his mask, but then you continued with, "Your cucumber, I mean, the one you're gonna use to scare those cats near the bins with, right?" He said nothing, you sounding deadly serious, he didn't know how to react. "I'm kidding!" You say, once more you hug him and he laughs nervously.

"Oh, right.. well.. You're a clever girl, you must've realised what it was before even making that cucumber story up...hmm?" You nod, smiling and eyes creased to closed. "Yes well you were right, I think my body was a little OVER excited..." He stated. To which you smiled devilishly and laughed along to.

"Well, while we're sharing, you know the velvety texture of cat's ears...?" He nodded slowly then said,

"Don't tell me it turns you on, we're not getting a cat"

"No no. Oh god no! That's what the stray ones are for-" you joked and V's whole body convulsed in great terror. "Just kidding, V, you need all be lessons on sarcasm! Haha, anyway, is it wrong that I want to just stick the velvety tips, not their while ear-"

"Stop talking! I know where this is going, I'm going to bed-" you hold his arm and say,

"It's not supposed to be sexual! I just want to nom on a cat's ear!"

"Nom?!" V was overly baffled.

"Yeah like grandmothers when they eat stuff and don't have teeth or their dentures in. You know?"

"When it's all just lips and... Spit?" He cringed at his own use of language. You cracked a laugh and answered, a little too exotically,

"EXACTLY! See, so I wanna-" you pull your lips over your teeth and say the rest like an old timer, just to make your point and gross V out further, "-and then I'll just-" you took his hand and softly bit down with your nomming-nanny-gums onto his finger, there was some sort of shock that went through his entire body, like lightning, he rushed off, genuinely running, a sort of lazy sprint to his bedroom and closed the door, or rather slammed it shut.

"IF THAT TURNS YOU ON... YOU AND I WERE DEFINITELY MADE FOR ONE ANOTHER!!" You yell, grinning in triumph, then sauntering back over to watch the rest of the comedic show with a bowl of cereal before retiring to bed, also.

Let's just say the next morning was interesting 😂😂

★

A/N

Hope

 y'all happy now! Stay safe, eat cake! 

X

El