❝ Ｉ ｌｏｖｅ ｙｏｕ、ａｌｒｉｇｈｔ? ❞

8# Headcanon!: ❝ Only ＴＨＩＣＣ Guys Understand ❞

This is the most bizarre thing I've ever witness but okay.

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Main Focus!: Jean Pierre Polnareff X Male Reader

Headcanon:

Basically, you're too dummy T H I C C ( insert earrape ).

- " Is this okay? "

- " No, you need something more baggy so your behind isn't so visible, "

- you and Polnareff are in a shopping mall to find the most baggiest pants in the area.

- the only reason why both of you are doing this, well,

It's because you're too ＴＨＩＣＣ.

- you nor Polnareff knows why this is possible, but it's been a bothersome situation.

- whenever you would walk down the streets, many men would cat call you and if you're close enough, slap those butt cheeks of yours.

- the thing that pissed you off is that they thought you're a woman.

Which is basically sexist, like seriously.

- you and Polnareff decided to seperate so it'll be easier to find the perfect pants for you.

- it wasn't a few minutes later, you felt a bit thirsty and decided to go to a nearby cafe in the mall.

- you then went into this lovely cafe called, " Café de la Rotonde, " and ordered for some vanilla milkshake.

- as you were waiting in line, you suddenly felt someone grabbing onto your ass.

- you turned around to see a man with a trenchcoat, blonde hair and what seem like sharp teeth.

- " ( Y/n ), my dear... would you care to share a room with me? I promised it'll never waste your time-- AAAAAAAAA, "

- " Can you shut the fuck up and stop grabbing onto my ass? It's annoying, "

- to make it short, you slapped the blonde guy, he fell to the floor, everyone was watching and you were literally scolding him as you decided to go back to the clothing store.

- " ( Y/n )! I've been looking everywhere for you! Too bad I can't seem to find some baggy pants though... ( Y/n ), you seemed upset. Anything wrong? "

- " Let's just get out of this place, "

Bonus!:

DIO: Argh, how could that ( Y/n ) knew that it was I, DIO, who caressed his ass in public? I thought that he would fall for my seductive voice but of course not! Vanilla Ice, what time is it?

Vanilla Ice: It's 2:28 PM now, Lord DIO. The sun is still up, do you wish to return?

DIO: Ugh, no. I don't want to use this big hat and long trenchcoat, it's killing me! We shall return at night time. But this chocolate cake is good, Vanilla Ice, please order some more.

Vanilla Ice: Alright, Lord DIO.

Mkay.