*Taehyung's pov*
I exhaled deeply as I sat down on the cold bathroom floor. I had sent all my hyungs and Kookie to dance practice, saying I was feeling sick. Well, honestly ,I was feeling sick but not physically. I am sick mentally. I had brought in a piece of paper and a pencil with me to the bathroom and also a whole bottle of sleeping pills the doctor had prescribed Yoongi hyung for his insomnia. The voice in my head was constantly telling me to go ahead, to do what I was thinking, to die. I sat numb for some more time until I started writing my note.
You know that no one will care if you die right? No one cares about your note. Why don't you just do it already? Are you such a freak that you can't kill yourself ? Do it.
I shut my eyes tightly trying to block out the voice. I had to do it fast, before the members came back. I hurriedly finished writing the note and placed it on the counter beside the sink. I then sat down again and opened the bottle full of pills and started gulping them down as fast as I could, one by one.
The bottle was almost finish, 5 or 6 left when I thought about the consequences.
'Will I bring the band down if I do this?
It's not like anyone would care.
No one will miss me.'
I sat there in silence, I could hear the clock ticking away to it's glory , as if it's mocking me.
And then suddenly it striked me, my hands started shaking. I tried calming myself down. I tried to breathe. I took in a long deep inhale and when I tried exhaling it, my breathing got messed up and I could not breathe. I could not stop shaking and the voice in my head was getting loud. I could not scream and I was suffocating. I stood up and stood in front of the sink. I was swaying so I held the counter for some support. I had to bring the pills out of my body. I put my fingers deep down my throat and started gagging. Soon enough, my body was retching heavily and out came all those pills. I was really dizzy and I just did not feel well. After making sure that the pills were no more in my system, I cleaned the bathroom, and cleaned myself up. I left no trace of what I was about to do. I glanced at the clock, and I sighed. The members would be back soon. I went back to my bedroom and fell asleep ,I was really tired.
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(Time skip: the members come back from the practice)
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*Yoongi's pov*
Ughhh, today was a difficult ,tiring day. Practice literally kicked the shit out of me and I am so done. I need a good sleep.
I started walking toward my medicine cabinet to get my pills for my insomnia, so that I could sleep well. However, it shocked me when I could not find it there. I thought of looking for it in my bedroom which for now I share with Taehyung. I might have kept it in my bedroom drawer. I open the bedroom door and a smile appears on my face as I see Taehyung sleeping. Poor kid, he was sick today, I hope he feels better now. I went towards him and felt his forehead for checking his body temperature. As I place my hands on his forehead, he wakes up. He looks up to me with his brown orbs and before I can react, his eyes fill with tears and he hugs me ,starting to sob. I hold him tightly, unable to understand what happened.
After some time, Taehyung takes something out of his pocket and gives it to me. It's my bottle of pills, but what would he do with it, and why was it almost empty? I start panicking.
"Taehyung, sweetie, what happened?are you okay? What happened?did you take them because you could not sleep?but why are so many missing? Did you drop them by mistake, oh yes thank God I am so sca.."
My rambling got interrupted by Taehyung 's sudden scream.
"Hyung, yoongi hyung, it was not by mistake, I am so sorry"
I was confused. What does he mean?
Before I could think of something ,Taehyung spoke,
"Hyung, I tried to kill myself today."
I could not react . I just did not know what to do.
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*Taehyung's pov*
Shit. I had told yoongi hyung about it. He hates me now. Everyone hates me now. I start crying again. I started venting out.
"I am so sorry hyung, sorry, I am sorry, I won't do it again,I am sorry hyung , please ,I am sorry, I need help, ughhh, sorry ,please help me ,"
Suddenly I felt a pair of arms around me. I looked up, seeing that yoongi hyung had tears in his own eyes, I cried loudly. I started sobbing violently. Soon all the members were in my room. They all had worry written on their faces.
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"ARE YOU OKAY?"
"yes, I forced myself and threw up"
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Yoongi hyung told all of them about what happened and soon they started talking to me about it. They made me feel comfortable and they made me feel safe. They all had tears in their eyes and we all cried together. Soon, we were cuddling and snuggling each other on my bed.
I knew that though things are not fine now and although I am not okay now, I have my family that is my members with me, and I will get better with their help. I smile softly to myself as I fall asleep, with them. I love them.
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My note:
Thanks a lot for reading this. It's my first time and it's not that good, however I will be better next time. I really need your love and support and I need to improve. Please feel free to comment and request.
I love you all. I purple you all.
