Dead to me // Colby Brock

025 • 𝗢𝘂𝗿 𝗹𝗶𝘁𝘁𝗹𝗲 𝗻𝗶𝗰𝗸𝗻𝗮𝗺𝗲 •

I sat with my legs pulled close to my chest as I looked out at the city lights, only a glass window helping me from not falling. Colby's house might be ugly inside but it definitely has a beautiful view.

It kinda looks like the more of a shittier version of David's house.

I could hear soft laughter in the background, Andrea and Brennen's being the loudest and Jeffs being the softest. Somehow I couldn't really hear Colbys laugh but when I had heard it, it definitely made me smile.

Right now I should be laughing with them and making fun of Brennen like everyone else was but instead I'm sitting across the backyard, looking out at the city lights, by myself, like a loner. But If I had to be honest, it makes me feel happier to be alone than to be in a massive group. I felt safer.

David would be yelling at me right now and would have told me to get up and talk to someone instead of being antisocial like always. I really should stand up and go have fun with everyone else but instead I couldn't stop myself from thinking about the nickname shit. The more I thought about it, the more scenarios I had played in my head.

And most of them weren't good ones.

I couldn't hear Colby's laugh anymore, everyone else's just drained out his. Oh, what I would do just to be inside of his head. I wonder if he thinks about me.

I could hear footsteps coming from behind me but I didn't care. I didn't turn around or freeze like I always do instead I just sat in the same position focusing my attention on a tall building in the distance.

''Hey, are you ok?'' I hear Colby question me as he stands next to me, towering over me. I look up at him giving him a small smile before nodding my head. ''Are you sure?" he says sitting down next to me.

''Yeah, of course, why?'' I reply back, trying to read his facial expressions but he doesn't budge.

''Well, you are sitting here by yourself looking out at the lights instead of laughing with us'' He says shrugging his shoulders, his voice sounding deep like he had just woken up.

''Oh yeah, sorry'' I whisper back, my voice was soft against the howelling wind. Colby sat still placing his hands behind him, expressionless. It was like he was dead.

''I get where you're coming from it's all good, It actually makes me feel safer when I'm alone than when I'm in a group'' He chuckles to himself.

That's just like I said.

''That's the first time someone has ever actually said something relatable to me'' I laugh my mouth so wide I could catch a fly. A tiny smile grows across his face before dropping and changing back to the dull facial expressions he always has.

''You know there is just something about you Ava'' he says his voice in a soft tone, Oh no. ''something meaning in a bad way?'' I question him praying that he doesn't mean something like, 'I wish you never came' or 'you piss me off being here'

''No Ava, it's just that there is something about you that makes me not able to read your emotions'' he laughs rubbing the back of his neck with his hand. I felt my stomach drop as I sit up straight.

He feels the same way about me.

''Wait now this is creeping me out, I feel the same for you too" I whisper not wanting anyone else to hear us. Colby laughs and for a slipt second, I saw something in his eyes, happiness.

''No way'' He replies back his face shocked. ''This whole time I've just been wanting to know what your thinking but yet you're like a robot'' I laugh watching as a smile grows across his face and for a second I take everything in like a picture.

The way his eyes crinkled when he laughed hard, the slight upturn of the corners of the mouth when he laughed soft and the way a small dimple appears on one side of his cheek when he smiled.

''It's like we are dead" I reply back to him laughing to myself before I had noticed what I had just said.

That's so creepy Ava why would you say that!

''Dead inside'' Colby surprisingly adds on not being anywhere faced by what I had just said. I focus my attention on a tall building that had a blue flashing light so planes don't crash into it.

''Everyone dies one day'' I say feeling Colby's eyes hot on my face. ''It doesn't scare me'' He says looking back at the city.

''Well don't you have to deal with it every day?'' I question him turning my body to face him.

''well yes, It's just kinda apart of my life now'' he admits turning his body to face me.

''That's sad'' I whisper looking over at everyone else noticing they have killed someone also. ''It's just life'' He whispers back sadly crossing his hands over his chest.

'It doesn't scare me, to be honest I've wanted to be a ghost'' I say trying to brighten the mood and happily, I succeed.

''I think I just found the girl version of me'' Colby chuckles to himself. He wasn't creeped out by ghosts and death like all my friends were back home.

The air grows into a comfortable silence and for a second I had felt a connection.

''Well Ava Dobrik I guess you are dead to me'' He says placing his right hand in the air in front of me. ''Well I guess Colby Brock, you are also dead to me'' I reply back placing my hand on top of his.

I guess your dead to me Colby brock.