Here We Go Again

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After Madame Pomfrey had given him the latest dose of his horrid medicine, as well as a curious look, Draco was alone.

Usually being alone was his solace, but after this afternoon he felt like something was missing. He was determined not to mess it up this time.

She may have said that she thought she would choose them, but she came to see him, she kissed him.

For the first time in a long time he actually found him smiling at his memories. She wanted to be with him even if it meant keeping it a secret from them. He would have to keep his fair share of secrets too.

If almost anyone in his house found out, or anyone back home… He shuddered. Even though his parents hardly even acknowledged him anymore, he was practically a ghost at home; they would probably have a reaction if they found out about Hermione.

No one would ever expect it, so maybe that would make it easier to hide.

Back when he first came to Hogwarts if anyone had told him that one day he would be so smitten with Hermione Granger he probably would have hexed them. She had always intrigued him but he would never have admitted it. That night at the Yule Ball he had thought that she was the most beautiful girl there. Quite a few of the Slytherin girls, including Pansy, had been dressed far too lavishly for his taste. Little did people know that he wasn’t completely obsessed with money and extravagant things.

Most of his life he had been given everything that he had desired and after a while nothing material could please him. What could you possibly give to the boy who seemed to have everything?

Maybe the one thing that he had never been given, perhaps because it couldn’t be bought: love.

His parents cared for him, yes, but until the war had begun they never had time for him, and now…

Now they act like he isn’t even there, like they can't face him after everything that happened. The only time he has ever felt like someone truly loves him for who he is has been in the last few weeks with her.

Not that either of them had actually said that. Who knows if Draco even has the courage, or the strength to tell her how he feels. His heart is so fragile that he could hardly take the rejection if she didn’t feel the same.

It’s the fear of not being loved in return that has stopped him from telling her. He couldn’t bear it if she didn’t love him back.

He knew that he loved her, he could feel it in every inch of his body, he just couldn’t admit it to himself and so he couldn’t say it to her.

If there’s one thing Draco has learned from Pansy it’s that giving someone your heart leaves you more exposed and more vulnerable than by any other means. Even though he knew that Hermione was very different from Pansy, he didn’t know if he could trust anyone again, not after everything he’s been through…

Draco became slightly drowsy as he lay in the bed; clearly there was sleeping draught in his medicine. He was definitely spending the night in the hospital wing.

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