summer romance (e.d.)

twenty-two

ethan

i feel bad for storming out on anna and making her sad. the frown on her face as she opened the door replays in my head for some reason, and i can't get it out.

my pacing the living room finally makes grayson rolls his eyes and look up from his phone.

"girl problems?" he asks, almost mockingly.

"no... well, kind of? i don't really know," i answer, taking a seat next to him on the couch.

"talk to me."

i give him a sideways glance. "i feel like you'll just laugh at me."

"awh," he frowns. "you know i will anyway, so why not just tell me?"

i sigh, then give in. "there's this girl— and before you say anything, no, i don't like her," i point at him sternly.

he puts his hands up in surrender. "okay, fine. keep talking."

"she's so annoying, except for when she's not, i guess. but, she understands me. and that scares me."

he raises an eyebrow. "it scares you?"

"yes."

"sounds like you might have a little crush," he grins.

i smack back of his head. "i don't! swear. but, i always end up getting mad or pushing her away when things start to become civil between us. like, i've known her for a month and—"

"wait," he cuts me off. "a month? is this... is this about anna?"

i freeze, feeling blood rush to my face. "n-no. just some new girl at the club."

he narrows his eyes. "are you sure?"

"promise," i lie to his face.

"okay... well... why do you end up getting mad or pushing her away?"

"i don't know. that's what you're supposed to tell me," i say.

he shrugs. "i don't know, bro. sounds like you like her."

giving up, i lean my head back on the couch.

i don't.

... i think.

"i'd just say give her a chance. when you feel yourself starting to become defensive and build that wall up, let it crash down. you just have to be open with her all the time. she'll think you're an unreliable friend if you don't," grayson says smoothly.

"but that's hard."

he lays a hand on my shoulder. "i know," he says quietly, giving me a knowing look. "but hey, at the end of the day, with or without the girl, you still have me!"

i pretend to groan and he laughs.

my mom allows me to eat lunch in my room, and robert sends ms. valerie up to hand me my plate of chicken and brown rice.

"thank you," i mumble, taking it from her hands and setting it down on my desk.

she glances around my room and sighs.

i've let it get messy.

"do you want me to clean it?" she asks.

"no," i respond quickly. "you know i don't like it when you do."

"it's my job, mr. dolan."

"my name is ethan," i reply briskly. "don't call me anything except ethan."