twenty-nine

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anna

july 2nd is my dad's birthday.

i call him early in the morning, since the time zones are a little bit different.

"anna!" his voice exclaims when he answers.

"hi dad," i let out a small chuckle, my chest feeling heavy ever since last night. "happy birthday!"

"that had minimal effect," he teases. "why the sad voice?"

"nothing," i reassure, scratching my head. "it's not your problem to worry about. how's your day been?"

"considering it just started, i would say it's been pretty good. tell me about your problem. i want to hear all about your time in california."

"my time here has been... amazing," i answer truthfully. "just some guy problems, nothing you'd be interested in."

"you can try me, anna. maybe i can help?" he offers.

sighing, i remember that i have no one else to go to. "well... i met this guy. he's good at golf, he likes to laugh, and he is definitely my type."

i hear him laugh. "and this is a problem how?"

"but then i met this other guy," i find myself smiling.

"what's he like?"

"he's rude, stuck-up, unpredictable, and bad at golf."

"... i'm failing to see the problem here. wouldn't you go for the first guy?" he asked.

"that's the thing!" i exclaim, beginning to pace the length of the living room. "you would think so, right? but the more i hung out with the second guy, the more i realized about him."

"like what?"

i smile. "he's funny. he doesn't like to read that much, but if you hand him a book he'll have to finish it. he's very generous, offering anything he has to those he cares about. he's closed off at first, but when you get to know him, you suddenly know everything. he likes to listen to music and drink mango smoothies and have handstand competitions in the pool and—"

i stop, realizing i know much more about ethan than i do about liam.

"anna?" my dad says after a few moments of silence.

"yes?"

"i think the second one is your guy."

                                        «»«»«»

i stare up at my ceiling, confused and hurt at the same time.

what did i do to make ethan upset? why won't he talk to me?

liam texts me, asking if i want to hang out. i just say i'm busy.

at around 8:00, i make myself a cup of tea and slip on the clockwork sweatshirt, just because it reminds me of ethan.

i don't know who to pick.

liam's safe. he's nice enough.

but my mind can't stay off ethan for long.

i like how he always tries to fight a smile when he talks to me, but it peeks through anyway. i like how he remembers the small things i tell him, and never seems to care what other people think of him.

i like his soft, styled hair and the watch he likes to wear, and the tattoo on his ankle that he thinks i don't know about.

but he confuses me. to the max.

he's hot then cold. never in between.

i smile remembering how he carefully took care of me after my horrendous alcohol situation, and how he sneaks through my window any chance he can get.

but then i frown remembering that he shuts me out as soon as i get close, and has temper issues. he doesn't like when i push him to talk about or do things.

and who's to say he would ever feel the same about me? he hates me.

when my brain feels like it's about to explode, i step into the shower and try to make the thoughts go down the drain.

i get into my normal work outfit and usual visor, and dread my hour and a half that i have to spend with ethan.

just to stall, i top the cart off with more gas and roll up to the front.

surprisingly, only grayson shows up.

"where's your brother?" i ask as he slips into the front next to me.

he shrugs. "said he wasn't feeling very good. he was totally lying, i'm sure. don't worry about it."

i nod, feeling a sick sensation take over my body as i drive grayson to the course.

the game is quiet, since he only plays himself.

but on the last hole, he hands me a club.

"wanna try?" he asks.

"i'm- i'm good, thanks," i decline politely, pushing the driver away from my face.

he gives me a smile. "i know you play golf, anna."

"i don't know what you're talking about."

"you think i believe ethan improved so much by himself? please. i'm not stupid. also he doesn't sneak back in very quietly."

his words take me by surprise, and i try to form a sentence that shuts down his theory.

but i'm a bad liar.

"fine," i sigh, giving in. "maybe i'll meet the par."

"or below," he smirks.

laughing, i answer, "doubt it."

i get into my stance, the feeling foreign.

ethan and i sometimes trade off hitting balls, but this time it's in broad daylight. with his twin brother.

i swing back, and it's like getting back on a bike.

with a grin, i keep my eye on the ball as i come back down and strike it hard, sending it soaring through the air.

i rotate my hips fully, facing my target.

"wow!" grayson high fives me. "i knew it. i knew you actually played."

i shrug. "i didn't know what to say when you first asked me."

"how about the truth?" he laughs.

smiling, i hand him his club back and slide into the drivers seat of the golf cart. "get in, you can finish the hole."

he nods and we drive off.

"anna?" he says after a bit.

i him in response.

he's quiet. "never mind, you'll probably find out soon enough."

"find out what?" i ask, feeling panicky.

"nothing. you coming to the fourth of july thing in a couple of days?"

"if you'll let me."

"of course. and besides, i think ethan would want to see you there."

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