thirty-four

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ethan

"anna," i whisper, knocking gently on her window.

she doesn't stir, and i debate my next moves in the dark.

i don't want to just open the window and scare her, but i also don't want to give up and go back inside.

eventually, i decide on the former.

the window slides up with ease, and i pull myself up into it. i almost land head first on the ground, but i steady myself.

anna moves a little at the noise, but doesn't awaken.

pulling myself together, i tap her lightly on the head.

"anna... psttt.." i whisper.

rolling my eyes, i grab the edges of her blankets and tug on them with force.

she screams immediately, causing me to shush her.

"hey, hey," i reassure calmly. "it's me."

when the lamp light turns on, there's an undeniable look of annoyance on her face. "what the heck, ethan?"

i smile a cheeky grin. "did i scare you?"

"did you scare me?" she mocks. "of course. what're you doing here?"

i plop down on her bed face first and muffle into her bedspread, "couldn't sleep... wanted to see you... and it brings me joy when i scare you. this was the only way i could accomplish all three."

she laughs lightly. "what time is it?"

i bring my face out of the bed and check my wrist. "it's 3 am."

"you don't seem like you sleep much."

"as a wise woman once said— sleep is for losers," i quote her with humor in my voice. 

"total losers," she agrees. 

i yawn and feel my eyes grow tired just from hearing her voice. it's like a lullaby, as weird as it sounds. something about it is so calming.

"wanna nap?" she asks, patting the spot next to her.

"nap?"

"a nap can range from 15 minutes to 4 hours. if it's any longer, it's considered sleep. and if i wake up from my sleep tomorrow morning and you're next to me, i will kill you," she warns, wiggling her eyebrows. "it's just the laws of science."

"ah," i say, pushing myself off the bed and kicking my shoes at the direction of the window. "got it."

she settles her head back down onto her pillow and i slip in next to her.

"this bed is comfortable," i remark.

"first time noticing that? from what i've heard, it seems like you used this bed a lot."

"anna," i warn in a low voice.

"sorry."

i flip on my side so that i'm facing her, and prop myself up on my elbow. she stares back at me with big, wondering eyes.

"want some of my blanket?" she whispers softly after a few moments.

i let out a small chuckle at her sweet innocence and lean down to kiss her nose. i end up missing, and landing somewhere in between her eye and bridge of the nose.

she giggles a little, pulling my head down by my neck and leaving a long kiss to my lips.

"okay," i say after we've separated. "close your eyes, and when you open them in a few hours, i'll be gone."

"wait— you're not going to ask me for anything else?"

the genuine confusion on her face is undeniable and i stare back with an equal reaction.

"what do you mean? go to bed, an."

"but liam always made me feel like i owed him more," she mumbles, not taking her eyes away from mine.

"you owe me nothing," i say firmly. "whatever liam said you owed him, you don't to me. we kiss, and you're done? that's perfectly fine. we kiss and you don't want to be done? then we can talk about it more. stop comparing me to liam. we both have extremely different values."

anna seems to process my words for a minute, and a small smile appears on her face. "okay."

"okay?" i repeat, raising an eyebrow.

"i don't think you realize how good that rant felt to hear."

"well i'm glad," i sigh, laying my head back down and scooching closer to her.

"why?"

i smirk up at the ceiling. "what did i tell you about liam?"

"ethan, do not make this an 'i told you so' moment."

"no, say it," i smile a little.

"you said he was a douche."

"and he is," i turn to her in mock amazement. "wow. shocker there, right? who knew that if you would just listen to me for once that i'd turn out to be right?"

"ethan, shut up," she scoffs.

"no no," i hold up a finger. "let me have my moment. who was right? me. who was wrong? you."

i hear anna trying to contain her laughter and i continue with my pointless gloating.

"ethan was right for once, ladies and gentlemen!" i yell loudly.

"shhhhh..." she laughs, clamping a hand over my mouth. "my window is still open. if someone found you in here they would flip."

"i would be murdered."

"i would be whisked back to new jersey and kiss my referral to stanford goodbye."

"that sucks for you, but i would be literally killed and all. i don't know if you heard?" i tease.

"yeah," i feel her shrug. "but you'd still have a trust fund."

laughing, i let my eyes close and try to set a mental alarm to wake myself up before the sun rises.

«»«»«»

when i open my eyes next, the sky is a bluish greenish haze, covering the earth like a blanket.

quietly and slowly, i slip out from anna's warm bed and grasp, and immediately long for it again.

after i tie my shoes and shimmy the window all the way up, i take the sharpie from her dresser and the notepad from her nightstand and write:

anna-marie~

miss you already.

don't b late for our 9 am.
(5:26 am)

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