Ikemen Sengoku Moments

Sanitizer Wars (Part 3)

Sorry for last weeks... distraction. (///UwU///)

The finale is here! (excited squealing, autographs and fangirls in the background)

Or more like... (One person: slow clapping *clap clap clap)

Either way, Enjoy!!!

Meanwhile.... Echigo wasn't looking so hot either. Sasuke and Yukimura were fighting for survival, dodging Lord Kenshin's attacks and Shingen's flirting tips. But, like any good friend, Sasuke didn't want MC to worry. So, instead, he just hid out in Yuki's ceiling for most of the day while Yukimura whimpered like a injured dog. And the distress signals from Azuchi just got worse and worse....

So, Sasuke being the elegant, croc-wearing, diplomatic individual he was, set out, dragging Yukimura along with him, all the way to Azuchi to offer their alliance. Obviously, even though the Hideyoshi forces were faring quite well especially after last night's attack, they still accepted their help. Hideyoshi needed to win this war quickly. Not having to scream at Lord Nobunaga was driving him crazy. And Sasuke and Yukimura really needed their help to stop some insane warlords from ambushing them physically and mentally. 

Today was the day. All the preparations were under way. On Hideyoshi's side, he himself was barking out orders, manufacturing the weapons, and devising war strategies. Ieyasu ran to Walmart to get as many supplies as he could, and he glared at the poor cashier whenever he caught her staring. The only reason he was putting up with this nonsense was because Sasuke would be too busy asking him questions and asking for autographs. Sasuke and Yukimura were practicing, and helping with the toilet paper rocket. Mitsunari and Ranmaru were in their matching panda costumes, building a fort. And finally, MC was making masks and armor.

Mitsuhide's forces were also really chaotic. Masamune was making food. Tons of food, in case they were under siege later. Mitsuhide and Nobunaga were doing pretty much everything else. Both sides were ready to fight to the death. 

At one o'clock PM, both sides met, determined to end the battle once and for all. Haguro screeched overhead, signaling the beginning of the struggle for Hideyoshi's lectures. And that was that. It went absolutely bananas in a matter of seconds. Literally. Uri the monkey started throwing bananas at the opposing side. Once she was done, she started to eat them, cause, you know, she's a monkey. Duh.

Mitsuhide shot soap bullets as a counter, which was quickly deflected by pillows and hand washing posters. Then toilet paper grenades flew, perfumed diapers were launched, febreze was sprayed, and rubbing alcohol was poured. People went down. Ieyasu, who was anxiously watching Wasabi eat Masamune's food, got hit with a flying diaper, and went down. MC stared at him and started laughing. Ieyasu glared back. "What? If my emergency food supply gets poisoned, and I eat... it... I'LL GET POISONED!" MC giggled harder, causing him to roll his eyes. Masamune took advantage of the situation to take MC and Ieyasu as prisoners. "NOOOOOOO!!!" she squealed, but it was kind of hard to take her seriously because she was still laughing at Ieyasu. 

Mitsunari and Ranmaru were fighting like demon pandas. Both were upset over the loss of their allies, and were determined to fight harder for their cause. Sasuke and Yukimura caught on quickly and started using their own tactics. A bomb of perfume took Masamune down (for the third time in this book) and Hideyoshi quickly took him hostage in a broom closet. Still, they couldn't keep him quiet, so they threw him a phone and a selfie stick. That kept him occupied for hours. MC was bored out of her mind, so she started squirting a water gun at Nobunaga. After it ran out, she started braiding Ieyasu's hair. 

It was 8:30 PM, and nobody was going down. They were too evenly matched. Both sides were getting worn out. After a temporary armistice, both sides resumed fighting. The pandas had to stop fighting on General Hideyoshi's orders because it was past their bedtime. And so, the final showdown occured. Hideyoshi, Sasuke, and Yukimura VS. Nobunaga and Mitsuhide. 

Now, the author would like to skip past the BOOMBOOMBOOM part and fast forward to the end of the war. I am sure my audience does not want to hear about all the gruesome details. Nobunaga was defeated when Sasuke dropped a bag over his head and threw him with Masamune, who was delighted to have a selfie partner. Yukimura was defeated when he accidentally stepped on a squishy diaper and fainted. He was taken to jail with MC and Ieyasu. I think he regretted it very much, as MC really enjoyed braiding his hair. In the end, the toilet paper rocket was what caused Mitsuhide to surrender.

--------------------------------------- BONUS: TREATY ------------------------------------------------------------------

Sanitizer War Treaty Official Document

Section 1. Terms and Conditions

I, Hideyoshi, will lecture everyone about the importance of safety for 3 hours each day, constantly monitor my enemies for their health, and equip all members with a yardstick that they will use at ALL TIMES.

Everyone must wear a mask and wash their hands properly.

Everyone will help Sasuke and Yukimura with their... problem.

All hostages will be freed unharmed on both sides.

Section 2.  Grievances

Harm to my allies include:

- Hair braiding and public humiliation (Yukimura and Ieyasu)

- Too much physical exercise

Harm to my enemies include:

- phone battery died

- losing

All Grievances will be addressed with honor and respect, and all "injuries" will be taken care of.

Signed, 

Hideyoshi Toyotomi, Mitsuhide Akechi

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WELP! Hope you guys enjoyed the mini-series! I will be back with a quick Q & A next week before my next project!  Stay safe!

DISCLAIMER: No warlords were harmed in the making of this mini-series. Yes, Yukimura and Ieyasu did get their hair braided, but that's about it.