MY KIND OF CRAZY ✔️

CHAPTER 21: DON'T PRETEND

DRAVEN
"Yo... what the fuck..."

I casually glanced over at Ian's roommate, that Milo dude. I forgot he was here.

"What," I blinked at him. He spluttered, mouth opening and closing with no words coming out. "Got a problem?"

He shook his head side to side vigorously and slowly sank back down in his bed.

I glanced down at Ian. He was sleeping, all cuddled up against my chest peacefully. He looked like an angel. I caressed his face and gently slid my thumb up and down his cheek. He smiled in his sleep, leaning into my touch. His hair was a mess, body covered in hickeys and sweat with pink, swollen lips. He looked perfect.

I purposely left as many hickeys as I could to let Xavier know who he belonged to. Ian was mine and I'd annihilate anyone who tried to take him away from me.

I laid pulled the sheet over us and pulled the sleeping boy even closer to me. I wrapped one arm around his waist and the other cradling his head, pressing a kiss against his hair.

Mine.

-

"Draven?" Ian poked me, "you have to let me go, it's time for breakfast."

I groaned, shifting around on the bed and squeezing his closer to me. It was too early. Way too early. I went back to sleep.

"Xavier's going to come to check if you're okay if he sees you're not there," Milo pointed out. I wanted to throw him off a bridge for interrupting us but the mention of Xavier had me sitting up on the bed, dragging Ian with me.

"Thank you," Ian sighed in relief, moving to pull away but I still didn't budge.

I wanted him to see Ian in my arms. I wanted that piece of shit to get that feeling in his chest that I always got when I saw the two of them together. I wanted to watch him suffer as I crushed each bone in his body. And I would. Eventually. But he didn't seem to react to pain as the others did. He almost seemed like me.

"Draven," Ian whined, "you have to let me go."

I pulled away just far enough to see his cute face pouting at me. He still looked just as delectable as he did last night. He squeaked when I pressed his back down against the bed again, smashing our lips together.

"Jesus Christ, not again!" Milo groaned. I'd punch him if Ian wasn't withering in my arms.

His little fists banged against my chest as he tried to get my attention, "Draven, s-stop," he begged,
"Xavier is going to see."

I pulled away from him, gritting my jaw. Was he embarrassed of me? Was he still going to pick that fucker over me? I looked into his eyes and bit my lip at the way he shyly avoided my gaze. No. I wouldn't let him pick anyone else.

"Let him see."

"It'll hurt his feelings," Ian tried to explain.

"That's the point."

Milo laughed but I ignored him. Ian let out a quiet sigh and started to climb out of the bed

"You're embarrassed," I spoke, gaze hardening. He was going to try and pick Xavier.

"Embarrassed? Embarrassed of what?" he tilted his head to the side cutely but I had to ignore it or else he'd distract me.

"Us."

His eyes widened, "of... us?"

The burning feeling of rejection flushed through my body.

He doesn't want me.

"You want him." I glared, "you don't want me."

Ian's mouth was opening and closing, not knowing what to say and just confirming my words. I stood up, ready to find the guy and decapitate him.

"Draven!" he pleaded, grabbing my arm when I tried to leave, "just listen!"

His attempt to stop me just resulted in him dragging behind me as I kept going. It was cute but the anger rushing through my veins prevented me from noticing. All I wanted was Xavier's blood.

"You're mine," I gripped his wrist, staring into his wide, green eyes. "But he thinks you're his."

This time I let myself get distracted when his eyes started glistening, "you don't want me either." He whispered.

What?

I wanted Ian. I craved him in every way possible. He knew that.

"I know you think you do, but you don't."

Ian yelped when I shoved him against the wall. He trembled underneath me, "you don't know what I want." I seethed. Our eyes locked, breathing speeding up as we were both at a loss for words.

He shook his head, "one day you're demanding I leave you alone, the next you're making out with me against a wall. Maybe you don't know what you want, but I know it's not me."

"You're wrong," his eyes were filling with tears that felt like a shard of glass sticking into my heart. "I want you."

The droplets broke through the dam and spilled down his cheeks, "you just want me for sex!" He shouted, "you don't just get to say things like that! I never know where I stand with you because if I so much as breathe, you just run in the opposite direction!"

My hold on him loosened as he kept yelling, "I've tried so hard and now that I finally listened to you and left you alone, you changed your mind? You don't get to do that! You don't get to gets my hopes up, just to leave me feeling more worthless than I already do!"

By now he was the one pushing me against the opposite wall. Tears were freely streaming down his face, his fists clenched as he let everything he'd been keeping inside out.

"Don't kiss me and then ignore me. Don't stare at me and then act like I don't exist. Don't tell me to leave you alone and then come into my room during the middle of the night. Don't pretend to care about me when you don't."

"I do c—"

"No, you don't." He bitterly smiled through his tears, "I know you don't. Because if you cared, you wouldn't let me feel crazy."

I went to speak but a heartbreaking sob escaped his lips, "I want you, so please don't lie and tell me you want me. Don't pretend to want me the way I want you."

The door crashed open and Xavier came in with a pissed look across his face. I didn't have time to be angry or process anything other than Ian's beautiful green eyes pouring out pain. Pain that I caused.

Xavier pushed Ian away from me and punched me in the gut. He was screaming and yelling but all I saw was Ian's broken expression. He was begging him to stop.

Xavier wrapped his arms around my throat. I just stood there limply, Ian crying even harder as he tried to get between us but Milo held him back. There was a ringing in my ears and my entire body felt dizzy with agony. Not from Xavier— I didn't give a fuck what he did to me. It was the agony of knowing how badly I hurt Ian.

I never really understood it before. Love. I never understood how it was blinding and tore your sanity apart. I only knew what physical torture felt like. But watching Ian weep hurt more than any punch I could ever receive.

So I let Xavier keep going. I let him do as he pleased, wishing he would hit hard enough to make me feel anything other than love for Ian.

A/N
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