Afterglow

17

Tulala akong naglakad papuntang cafeteria. If this only happened before, I would've called Alex and asked him to walk around the campus with me. Papayag siya agad at hindi magiging limited sa isang libot lang iyong pag-uusap namin.

But I am in the present, and I should get used to this.

Kung sinusuwerte nga naman, nasa cafeteria rin sina Alex at Lia. There was a pile of newspapers on their table. Mukhang nagsasagot pa rin sila ng crossword puzzles. What a babe time.

Nagtama ang tingin namin ni Alex at matipid siyang ngumiti.

I walked past them without acknowledging him. I bit my lower lip. Naiinis ako sa kanya—sa kanila—at alam kong hindi naman dapat, alam kong hindi tama, kaya mas naiinis ako sa sarili ko.

Bumili na lang ako ng dalawang ice cream, isang ube at isang cookies and cream.

Ice cream is my comfort food. Its delicate sweetness makes me smile.

For a while, it makes me forget everything.

I ran towards Jiela and Kass who were walking around the campus. Tinanong ko kung pwedeng sumama at pumayag naman sila.

I busied myself with my ice cream habang nakikinig sa kanila.

Kass was ranting about Jake.

"I feel pissed," she groaned, "Alam kong gusto niya ako, but I think I like him more? Parang mas nag-eeffort akong magreach out. Feeling ko naghahabol ako, and I am the girl! He's the one who's supposed to show interest. Gosh, I am the girl, and I'm not the type who, you know what I mean? Ang sakit kaya sa pride ng ganito." She kicked a stone in front of us, "Nakakainis!"

"Type who what?" I whispered, inaudibly.

"Ha?" Kass faced me.

"Nothing," I smiled at her.

"May ice cream ka rito," she pointed the top of my lips.

"Oh," I licked the ice cream and faked another smile, "Okay na?"

Kass nodded and continued ranting.

Jiela patted her back and comforted her. I was no longer able to comprehend what they were saying, because Kassandra's words were left hanging on the invisible wall in front of me.

Para bang isa-isa nila akong sinasaksak.

Bigla akong naawa sa sarili ko.

Kung sobrang sakit na ng pride niya because she thinks she's showing more interest than Jake, who actually likes her, paano naman ako?

Hindi talaga pwedeng ako na lang?

Biglang sumikip iyong dibdib ko habang inaalala kung paanong sorry lang ang naisagot ni Pierre sa tanong ko.

Ang sakit. Sorry kasi kahit anong gawin ko, wala talaga?

Kaya kung sobrang nasasaktan na siya sa nangyayari sa kanila ni Jake, paano akong halos magmakaawa na para magustuhan ng lalaking gusto ko?

Sobrang durog naman na ata ng pride ko.

Napunta sa dako ko iyong batong sinisipa ni Kass. I kicked it back to her direction before excusing myself.