Spaces Between Us

Zayn

Dearest Zayn,

How are you?
Perhaps that was a stupid question, I'm sure after what happened none of us are ok.
I'd like to talk, it's why I'm contacting you.
Would you be able to meet?
I promise you, I come in peace.
I know seeing me or anyone that reminds you of your past is the last thing you want.
But please Zayn, do it for me, do it for Simon.

Sincerely,
Lauren

With every minute that passed, the words on the screen of my laptop seemed to become more and more confusing. I didn't understand, I couldn't understand. I couldn't wrap his head around the fact that this woman wanted to speak to me. I, who was the cause of the disaster that was her husband's funeral. Why? Why does she want to speak to me? Maybe it was a set-up, a ploy to expose me to the media or something. No, the Lauren I knew would never do such a thing. But what other reason would she have?

"It doesn't matter what she wants, you owe to her to hear her out." I whispered to myself. With trembling hands I typed in my response, as soon as I pressed send I closed my laptop and placed it as far away as possible from myself.It was almost as if it was a ticking time bomb bound to explode in my face. Eventually that dread was replaced with relief, relief that at least someone wanted to listen to me, to talk to me and not just conclude that I was the villain, like everyone else did.

"Get up Zayn!" Liam yelled, throwing the duvet off my sleeping body. He opened the curtains, allowing sunlight into the bus, forcing my eyes open. I groaned as the moving landscape and the movement of the bus made my head spin.

"Christ man, can't you just leave me alone for five minutes." Liam rolled his eyes and shoved me off the bed when he noticed I wasn't getting up. I fell to floor with a thud, my head pounding and spinning even more now. If I didn't hate Liam before I definitely did now.

"The others and I have been rehearsing the new set all morning, meanwhile you've just been sleeping.We need you, Zayn." Liam said as he watched me struggle to get up. He then noticed the many bottles of alcohol surrounding my bed and the state I,myself, was in.

"I'll rehearse with you guys when we get to the venue." I mumbled, trudging to the bathroom.

"So, you can skip that one like all the rehearsels you've already missed." He quipped, I could feel his judgement-filled gaze penetrating my back and scrutiny filled his words. I flipped him the middle finger before slamming the bathroom door shut. After refreshing myself, I walked into the living area where all of them were awaiting my arrival.

"Good morning." I muttered trying to avoid their intense gazes.

"You mean good afternoon." Louis said, raising his eyebrows.I rolled my eyes in response.

"Zayn, please sit." Liam spoke, pointing at a chair behind me. I knew what this was, this was an intervention. I hesitently sat down, Louis and Liam were discussing amongst themselves; probably discussing what to say while Niall sat there clueless. Harry avoided my gaze and kept his head low, fiddling with his fingers.

"Zayn,these past few weeks, you've been off. Getting drunk, getting into fights, coming home late and missing rehearsels. You never did these things before.Things have to change. The way things are going makes me worried." Louis said, after awhile.

"Worried for me or for the band?" I asked

"Both!" Louis exclaimed, clearly annoyed at my lack of participation.I loved the guy, but, he and I barely saw eye to eye.He loved the band whereas I was finding it more and more difficult to do so with each passing day.