The Exile's Daughter

The Bigger Picture

The sky was darkening. Aragorn had come to check on me hours ago, then Elladan, then Ancalimë and Almarien, but I had spoken to none of them.

Legolas had not come back.

There was a blanket wrapped around my shoulders. I couldn't remember how long I'd had it, but I looked down and recognised it as Elladan's. It wasn't cold outside, but the gesture was kind. I retreated into it, resting my back against the tree and closing my eyes.

Anger was a brief, devastating feeling. It disappeared as quickly as it came and left only a burning shame in its place. All Legolas had wanted was to check on me, but I had taken my embarrassment at the battle out on the one person I could truly trust.

All I knew is that I had wanted to hide weakness behind fury. I drew my knees up to my chest and rested my head upon them. I just wanted to be back to normal. I wanted Legolas.

When my eyes were dry, night had truly fallen. I stretched, looking up at the starless sky and sighing. I didn't know what to do. I had to apologise, of course, but would he believe me? I struggled to explain why I'd been angry, so how could I justify it to him?

Just as I was sorting out my scattered thoughts, a heavy pair of footsteps sounded on my left, from the direction of the camp. I tensed, reaching for my brother's dagger on my belt. However, when he came around the corner, I saw it was Halbarad, walking unevenly due to his injured side. My shoulders relaxed ever so slightly. He strode along the riverbank and sunk onto a rock.

He dipped his hands into the river, leaning down to wash his face. I thought he had not noticed me until he spoke. "We are worried about you, Ness." I stayed silent, but he didn't seem to expect an answer. He changed the subject. "Many do not seem to appreciate the danger we are in. I think you do."

He turned to look at me and his face was white. Compared to the cares of the Dúnedain what were my troubles? In that moment, my vision cleared; my true task was to march on, feet unfaltering, no matter my own cares. I could not sink into despair, when so many people depended on my strength.

I stood, walking the few steps towards the river, and sunk down, crossing my legs and pulling the blanket further around me. "I do."

"There are so many children here."

"We'll get them out."

Halbarad grimaced. "How can you be sure of that?"

I lay my hand on his shoulder solemnly. "I will not accept any alternative."

He grinned in spite of himself. "You will get what you want out of sheer force of will?"

"It's never failed me yet."

We both laughed. "Is it terribly bad out there?" I asked softly. Halbarad nodded. His Adam's apple bobbed in his throat as he swallowed. I squeezed his shoulder tightly.

"The arrival of Glorfindel has shown us one thing – the elves are coming, and they will break through, Halbarad, at any cost. Elrond will not leave his foster son to die." 

He would not leave me here alone either, I knew. He had promised that if I needed aid, I would have it, even out here. Elrond was our - my - last hope. He was Legolas' last hope too, I thought grimly. Perhaps we could be something, even more than we were now, if we did not have the fate of innocents balanced so precariously in our hands. More than ever, I wanted his steadying arms around me. If my fate was to stand on the brink of this war, nothing but darkness before me and behind, I could not do it without him. A brief, wavering image came to me, of a towering city in the distance, and wind in my hair, and a warm, familiar hand clasping mine.