Time Lapse (J.P)

Crush

Disappointment would be the best word to describe what I was feeling. After the long day, most of my classes were shared with Ravenclaws. I should have known that I wouldn't be able to get to Potter through them. He was a year below me, worse so, our very first real interaction ended in a fight. There was no regret in my actions though. I had to make sure he knew that he couldn't simply pop on me as he did there. I knew he was going through a rough time but that was ridiculously rude when I was trying to offer help. 

Of course, Potter had to go and then get himself a prediction of death in Divination, then ride a dangerous Hippogriff and if that wasn't enough, he decided to sneak out to see Hagrid when students weren't supposed to go anywhere unsupervised by a prefect or staff from the school. Now that we were fighting there was no way I could approach him again. 

It was handy to know someone like Jay. Besides being glued to the books in the library he was also a large gossip, and Delilah and I are always forced to absorb everything he wanted to spill to us during free time but this time Delilah was the only one who wanted to move onto another topic. She asked Jay if we could have one evening without talking about Potter's latest actions. 
Not when he's under the spotlight of the school! Jay's voice rang through my thoughts. 

While I'm always with Delilah and Jay. I, sadly, scarcely got to see Mercy after this morning. Her having gone to share classes with the Gryffindors. I know Mercy would have made me feel easier about Potter's Grim. She would have laughed at the irony, Trelawney had also given me the grim, an omen of death, when I took her Divination class last year. She wasn't there and still I worried.

Everyone seems to believe that Potter will die. 

 I rubbed my face, my wand lighting the dark corridors. Currently, I was doing a patrol with Jay, although we agreed we could finish faster if we split up. As though we hadn't learned our lesson from the train. I knew Jay was only eager to return to his bed so he could finish his current book, as a result, I let him know before we separated that it would be okay if he wanted to report back to the Head boy and girl without me and then head back to the common room, though I did regret my decision when I was left alone in the hallways of the school. 

Hogwarts was beautiful during the day, with secrets whispering at every nook and cranny and thousands of years of history through these halls. It'd been an astounding sight to me since I was a first-year. Although at night the castle felt eery, cold and ominous. I worried that it might become worse as Dementors closed in on the castle. They became more volatile when the moon waned over us. 

The usually welcoming portraits themselves were grumbling from the light of my wand. All of them were hurrying me to get on with it so they could sleep, other portraits ignored me. I sighed, coming to a stop at a window, I could see their shadows plaguing the grounds.  Another chill went down my arms, I rubbed them; wishing I wore a sweater before I went on my patrol, "Miss Chade?" 

Behind me, footsteps closed in before I saw the brown eyes of Remus Lupin. "Professor!" I called out in surprise, earning loud grumbles from the portraits. Professor Lupin laughed silently, his shoulders shaking. "I fear the portraits will throw a riot if you stay here any longer Miss Chade," Professor Lupin walked alongside me, guiding me out of the corridor to another. I turned to him as he spoke, "How goes the mission Miss Chade?" The Professor somehow looked shabbier at night then he did in the morning, for some reason he looked ill, I wanted to ask, but I also knew our relationship was borderline friendly at best. He's still my Professor regardless of how much he walked beside me. Instead, I tried to think about a positive aspect to answer.

Potter hates me. 

Another sigh left my lips before I could withhold it, he frowned "Not well then?" I shook my head, "I'm afraid I don't understand Potter, Professor," I told him. Feeling ashamed that I wasn't of help to him. I wanted to succeed for him, yet the disappointment I felt at already losing my temper made me feel hopeless. There's something about the weight he carries that makes me want to ease his burden. I felt like a failure. Yet I also felt the simmering rage at Potter's audacity. Yes, I should be angry, he insulted me and completely attacked me!

"I extended my help, and yet he rejected it and assumed I was merely doing it because I thought he was fragile. It might as well be about his fragile ego." Bitterness rose in my throat. The negative emotions manifesting further. 

Professor Lupin hummed, his lips pressing together as he wandered, this was oddly reminiscent of the walk on the train. To Remus, that's what made it gold. He could remember the times when Judy and he were made to patrol the corridors before James took that place himself. Remus laughed a little at the jealousy his friend held whenever Remus would leave the common room. He got the girl in the end.

Before Remus lost them both. 

 He hadn't noticed the silence he left Judith in. 

"Professor?" I called out to him. "Apologies Miss Chade I was merely thinking about Mr. Potter," Remus technically wasn't lying to her. So he knew she wouldn't pick up on it. 

"What do you think I should do Professor?" I asked him, 

"I have yet to see his class in DADA, I'll see myself how he's feeling then, I'm sorry if I piled too much onto you." I shook my head, not wanting him to look down on me, 

"I can do this Professor,"
"I worry you might not be able to handle it,"

I felt rage rising at his words, "I'm not weak," I answered hotly, crossing my arms and glowering at him from where I stood. He stood still his eyes were glazed; nostalgia was written on his face.

"I never called you weak, did I?"

"You insinuated it, Professor!" 

"By merely demonstrating concern?" 

 The sight of him gave me pause, "Wait-" I grasped.

He walked back towards me, I had stopped walking when he insinuated I was delicate, and now I fear I knew how Harry felt. I felt like a complete buffoon. "I have reason to apologize, don't I?"

Professor Lupin shook his head resting a hand on my shoulder, "I feel as though you both need to clear this misunderstanding," I felt my admiration for him grow. With the feeling of his hand on my shoulder, I knew it meant nothing, but my stomach fluttered, warmth permeating despite the cold hallways. I developed a crush on my Professor, bollocks.

His promise. I could use that!

"So Professor," We walked through another corridor, "When do you think I'll be able to visit?" 

"You don't let things go do you?" I shook my head with a small grin on my face, nonchalant and prideful that he caught on so quickly.

"You can come around this Thursday, I have free time then, would you be able to?"

"Yes, that's perfect for me," I held Thursday mostly free, much to my enjoyment on getting at least one day. 

"Good, what else has happened to you today?" Professor Lupin asked me, "I'll tell you if you tell me how you've been?"

"Of course," He smiled at me. What a charming grin; I felt the rampage of the butterflies erupt in my chest, and did my best to not let my smile grow. I was certain I would appear psychotic if he noticed it. 

The rest of the patrol was spent in more chatter, two friends catching up under the gazes of the portraits who knew exactly what was going on. It was rather fitting that the strongest of friendships survived different times.