Lost Executioner (Lesbian Story)

Chp. 19

Ashley's P.O.V. (Minnesota, U. S)

Time. It's supposed to heal all broken wounds; ease the pain of mending hearts but in all reality, it just makes the pain more intense. You wait patiently for your feeling to die which happens occasionally, to the lucky ones, but for most, they only intensify. Then you hate yourself for not being able to properly hate the person that imprinted on you or visa versa and left with your heart chained up and beaten. Forced to follow.

Three years ago I told her I hated her. Three years ago I blamed all of my pain and suffering on her. Three years ago was the last time I had seen her and, if I had known that, then I would have taken it all back. I would have forgiven her, no. I would have apologized to her for all the shit that I had said and had done but we would all change our lives if we could go back in time, right?

Now I'm just a hollow shell of myself. The smile that's always on my face has never been this fake. It's disgusting actually. My sparkling eyes shield the sadness and despair of my soul. My laugh is the best mask of all. Everyone thinks I'm happy. They all think I'm over her and that she's out of my life and forgotten but she's the only person that I ever think about. Her mysterious metallic eyes that always made me feel bizarrely safe. Her rare but genuine smile that could melt the sun and swoon the gods. Just everything about her makes her impossible to hate, even her sarcastic and sometimes inappropriate remarks. They all make up the girl that I love but will never have.

"Ash, you okay?" Anthony's voice dragged me out of my depressing thoughts. Looking over in his direction, I smiled and nodded my head, ignoring the annoyed glare of my teacher.

"Yeah, just thinking how I'm screwed for this Pre Calc test next hour." He laughed in agreement, slightly nudging my shoulder but he quickly re-plastered on his concerned face.

"So you're not gonna tell me?" Smiling, I shook my head no, receiving a grunt from him. His hand clasped mine protectively, silently begging for me to open up to him but what could I say? That I was still in love with the girl that I swore I was over? That he's just a sad attempt at me trying to move on? Yeah, not likely and to top it all off her was a male human. A guy! His premature mind wouldn't be able to grasp the things that I had done, had seen. He was naive, the only thing going for him were his looks and that could only last so long. More than likely he'd be disgusted of what I could become. He couldn't hold a light to her, a goddess. He wasn't like her at all.

"It's not important, babe. Don't worry. I'm fine." Plastering on yet another fake smile, I squeezed his hand, convincing him that I'm alright. He bought it, like all the other times, smiling at my feigned happiness and paid his attention back to the front board, never releasing my hand.

A subtle knock on the door stopped Dr. Smith from his lesson, obviously annoying him. My eyes followed him to the door, seeing nothing. Until he opened it. There, leaning against the door nonchalantly, was Samantha smiling directly at me. Unintentionally, my grip tightened around Anthony's hand and it didn't go unnoticed. His worried eyes traveled to mine as I gave an apologetic smile.

"Miss Yeager, Mrs. Walter would like to speak with you briefly,please don't keep her waiting."

Rising, I grabbed all of my belongings, and headed for the door. Once out, a cold chill wrapped itself around me as my gaze met the gazes of her three slaves. Silently shutting the door, she stopped before me, sizing me up. Taking a good look at her, I saw that her wounds had finally healed. Her flawless tan skin looked flawless like always and her cold blue eyes still held no emotion.

She was back to herself.

She began walking down the empty hallway and, without anything to do, I followed. With every step I took, the shallower my breath became. I hated this woman and being alone with her and her pets wasn't exactly something that made me feel safe. By the time we had reached her class, my breathing had stopped. Opening her door, she ushered me inside but I refused to move. An annoyed snare appeared on her face from my noncompliance but I held my ground.

"It's rude to stay outside when someone has been gracious enough to invite you inside, my dear." Her electric blue eyes bored into mine as I watched as her anger escalated.

"The last time I was here, I barely left alive... What makes you think that I will willingly walk right in?" I whispered, staring into her lifeless eyes. A sick smile appeared on her face as she towered over me, drawing herself closer to my ear.

"Trust me, if I could, I would have killed you, Slowly and painfully, but that damned girl got in the way of it but that's not the point. If you are so scared why did you come all thi-"

"Samantha, we are supposed to keep an eye on her and that doesn't require you to speak to her. At all." A familiar voice rang in my ears. Looking over Samantha's delicate yet deadly frame, I made eye contact with Ethan who smiled at me. His rugged beard and piercing reddish brown eyes made him look older and more intimidating than he really was. Snaking my way around Samantha, I sped over and behind him.

"Well, you're no fun. I was only seeing how she was, that's all. Crystal obviously trusted me enough to ask me to watch over her so why would I hurt her, hmm?" Her hand rested on her hip as she looked at us with mock disbelief.

"Just watch from a distance. You've always been good at that." Turning away from her, he gave me all of his attention, smiling like a loon. "Let's grab a bite?"

"I still have three more periods before schools out. I can't leave."

"What kind of a senior are you? Most of them would be over joyed to get out of class but here you are fighting to stay!"

Laughing, I give him a light tap on the shoulder as we headed for the exit.
~~~

"How long has she been bothering you?" He asked between bites, glancing up at me momentarily.

"It's her first time, actually. Normally she pays me little to no attention. I don't know what makes today any different." I responded honestly, staring into my milkshake.

She hadn't spoken to anyone really. Not since Roxy almost killed her. Her whole behavior changed. She stopped "working" here; there was no information of her in the black market. Up until roughly six months ago, she was just a bad memory. Today was different though. All the other times I had seen her, it was like I was seeing a ghost of her. She barely yelled at anyone and her deadly cold eyes were just dulled out... I actually liked it. Seeing her in pain didn't make me happy but at least she felt the pain that she dealt others. But what made her act out today? I mean, is it so inconceivable that she would get back to herself after she properly healed?

"You think too much." Dragging my attention from my milkshake, I smiled at the goofy grin he had on his face. Ruffling my hair, he got up and took both our trays to the trash bin, leaving me alone in our booth.

It felt nice. Being here with Ethan. It was great. He's been with me for a while now, and honestly whenever I'm with him a slight nagging tugs at the back of my head, yearning that he brings up Roxy or that I grow enough balls to ask about her.... but I don't. I don't because she hasn't been back in three years and I'd just be playing the fool if I thought she would come back for me.

Glancing around the burger joint, I made eye contact with a beautiful woman. Her golden eyes erupted a protective shield around me, making me feel the safest I have ever since Roxy left. She didn't avert eye contact, even when our eyes were locked and I didn't feel weird. Normally if some one, especially a noticeably older woman, was staring at me I'd leave or give them a hint that they needed to stop but not with her.

Two girls appeared next to her, urging her to get up. Reluctantly she rose, glancing at me one last time. Soon after, Ethan was dragging me out of my seat.

"We need to go. Now!"

But it was too late.