Masks

Chapter 20

It had been three weeks since Tim and I decided to team up and absolutely nothing strange had happened- quite the opposite of what we'd been expecting given how much The Operator and Slenderman had been popping up beforehand. Still, it gave my arms a chance to heal- the dark jagged new scars just starting to develop- and I could finally make time to keep tabs on Angel's condition... and her approaching- final- trip to the vet.

I walked out of my room, leaving her to sleep on my bed, and joined Tim in the small living room. At the moment I just needed someone to distract me from what I'd have to do later. "So... nothing's happened for weeks, right?"

He glanced up from his laptop at my appearance, as if trying to figure out why I was bringing it up. I sat down in another chair and continued without waiting for an answer. "I've been thinking about it... What if they repel each other? Not literally of course- they can show up at the same time- but I mean more like a stand off I guess. They hate each other yet can't defeat each other without the help of proxies and spreading their 'sickness' so they avoid being in the same vicinity."

"We don't have much to go on to really say."

"I know but think about it. When you were around before they didn't show up when we were both in the same area. The same thing has been occuring now... Remember what I said when I told you Slenderman wants to use me and his other proxies to kill The Operator's sources, like you? Sometimes when I tried to attack you, your operator showed up to stop me. It did that when I first took Hoodie back to Slenderman too." I grimaced at the memory of both of those things affecting me at once. "...Destroy the sources and you weaken it. Kill the proxies and mine can't attack it. We're claimed by them. It's why you can't just become a little killer in a mask for mine and why yours can't influence me to act as Pawn."

"So this is just a war for them and we're just the unlucky people dragged into it?" Tim sounded doubtful.

"I don't know what The Operator wants. I just know that this just seems to be a huge game for them. They watch as we suffer- kill each other and lose ourselves- and enjoy every second of it." I was rambling still, not even quite following what I was saying but desperate to do anything but think about the time ticking down. "I should've stayed back there to be with her while I could... I can't even look at her though."

"We shouldn't let our guard down. That might be what they're waiting for."

"Yeah..." I glanced at the clock in the kitchen. "...I mean, if we really wanted we could always go test out the theory at Rosswood- that's where yours tends to show up right?"

"No. We aren't going back there anytime soon. Nothing ever good comes from going there." He closed his computer and got up, grabbing his keys as he headed for the door. "I'll be back from the doctor's in a few hours, I think we should plan on leaving for a hotel soon since they definitely know where you live so start thinking about packing. Don't go anywhere dangerous while I'm gone."

"Um... alright?" I watched him leave, unsure how soon he meant. "I should be leaving in a few minutes... Least I won't have to make an excuse up about where I'm going."

I took my time getting ready to leave and carefully carried Angel to the car. Usually she'd protest about being taken outside and stress out about being in the car... today she merely laid in the passenger's seat looking at me as I drove. I felt myself tearing up and forced myself not to look at her, knowing I'd actually cry if I did. The vet was able to take her back almost immediately and I watched as they gave her a small dose of sedative before injecting the euthinasia. The woman explained the process to me and what she was doing as she went but I barely listened as I watched the last bits of life Angel had left die in front of me. It was taking all I had not to show the pain; I felt like I was going to throw up from the needless stress the situation gave me.

"I should be better than this... pathetic... It was just a cat." I mentally berated myself as I gave them short answers to their questions and comments. "I knew she'd die at some point. That this would happen... She was the one thing that helped me at times."

I numbly walked out after paying and leaving her body behind to be burned. Living in an apartment, I couldn't exactly just take her back with me and bury her. The drive home didn't register; I simply remembered watching them take Angel's body away... and then being huddled in the back corner of my room in the dark. My thoughts continued to clash over what I should be feeling, leaving me trembling and hyperventilating as I pressed against the wall, dreading Tim coming back and finding me looking so weak and pathetic.

"I'm sorry..." What I was apologizing for, or who I was apologizing to, I couldn't be sure. The two words just continued echoing in my mind as I tried to muffle the crying from my own ears with one hand and dug my nails into my arm with the other.

The pain wasn't registering but the fear when I heard the front door unlock and open sent a jolt of panic through me. I clenched my teeth together to hold back my loud breathing, hurting my chest from the tightness building up from forcing down the tears until a high pitched whine slipped out.

The footsteps coming down the hallway paused and I quickly wiped my eyes as I heard Tim stop outside my door. "Ashley?"

I stayed quiet and held my breath, hoping he'd think I was just sleeping and leave. It didn't work. The pressure building in my chest seemed to force out the air in my lungs like I'd been punched in the gut and I coughed several times before managing to settle down my breathing. My light flickered on, causing me to squint, as Tim stopped waiting for a response and hurried in.

"Ash!? Did something happen?" He slowed momentarily when he didn't find me right away before quickening his pace again after spotting where I was hiding. Once more he scanned the room, as if expecting to find something lurking in the shadows. "What happened?"

"I'm fine... I-it's nothing..." I brushed off his concern and stood up, hoping I looked at least a little better than I felt. "Of all the times not to be my mask..."

"Don't lie to me."

I tensed and glanced down in shame, finally taking notice that the bandages on one of my arms was stained a dull crimson from where my nails had ripped open the remaining scab beneath. Hesitantly, I looked back at him, realizing my behavior might make him believe something bad was about to happen. "It doesn't have to do with those things or proxies if that's what you're worried about... This isn't important."

He sighed, though his tone held sarcasm in it. "Fine. You don't want to talk about it. Next time I get concerned I'll mind my own business."

"...It's stupid, okay...?" I glared at him, getting defensive as the vulnerable, pitiful feeling continued to fight to be acknowledged. "Angel is dead- yeah I know... A pet died and I'm overly upset about it."

The aggression quickly died out as the energy to sustain it drowned under the other chaotic jumble of emotions. It was like a dose of my anxiety ridden teen years all over again. I froze as Tim awkwardly pulled me against him in what I assumed was meant to be a hug. "You could always have just said that. I get it. You've lost everyone close to you and she was all you really had left, right?"

"Yeah but I'm being kind of dramatic about it." I sighed, calming down as I processed how unreasonable I'd been reacting towards him. "...Zac got her for me after my cousin disappeared... She was perfect. Always patient with me and my fucked up mental state- always there for me if something bad happened and I needed someone to help calm me down."

"You should go find Zac then. He's still around right?" Tim let go and backed away.

I shook my head. "I- I don't know... I don't want him to fall deeper into this mess than he might already be in. It's best he stays away from me... Like I said, I'll be alright. It was just a cat."

He didn't seem to believe I'd be fine so quickly but thankfully Tim wasn't the type of person who was going to shove his way into things like this. "Okay... Well, uh, just tell me things okay? So I don't think you're about to put on a mask and try killing me- we're working together now remember? Don't make me worry you're hiding something."

"Yeah... sorry."