Masks

Chapter 32

It had been a few days since I'd killed Zac. At this point the nightmares had only gotten worse- something I didn't think was possible- and I'd confined myself to my room.

Tim came by to check on me like he'd been doing the past few days, though when I looked up from the nightmarish figures I'd been drawing, I could tell he wanted answers. His face said it all even before he spoke. "I know you're not telling me something."

I cocked my head to the side tiredly and let the pencil fall from my hand. "I told you, I was taken and attacked by Zac, barely got away... It's kind of hard to sleep when the nightmares from all of this keep me awake."

"You left a note."His tone was icy. "I think you should see a doctor, mine isn't too far from here and it's worked out well in the past."

"What?" I recoiled at the thought and got to my feet, tossing the sketchbook on my bed.

"You need help, Ash."

Pain went through me as I limped around him. "Look, sorry I'm not thrilled about it or whatever but I'm not really fond of doctors or hospitals."

I glanced back to see him staring at the drawing with an unnerved expression before following me out into the living room. "Why is that?"

"...After Faith's death and my parents finalized their divorce they thought I was traumatized by the events- at least my mom did. I was taken to a therapist... at the time I'd started seeing that creature more often. I didn't tell them that but, they referred me to a doctor thinking it would help- wasn't there long." I slumped to the ground and stared dully at the carpet in defeat. "They gave me that journal in hopes it would help my anxiety to write things down... Tried to put me on medication for my bouts of aggression but they didn't help- it wasn't me in control during those outbursts so of course it wouldn't... Doctors just don't understand how to help- they don't have a way to get rid of him. Didn't keep going long. I eventually managed to fight him off, build a natural immunity to him- doesn't always help."

"What I take helps me fight off whatever it is those things do to us. Maybe it can help you- wouldn't hurt to try."

"I know." My tone was snappier than I'd intended. "I just need more sleep, that's all."

He didn't seem convinced. "Maybe you'd sleep better if you told me what you were hiding."

"Nothing." I growled back, irritation building up in me; I couldn't just let him know about that demon, not when I barely knew what it wanted. "I'd put him in too much danger."

"You're going to get yourself killed at this rate."

"...Wouldn't be the first time." I gave a drawn out sigh and looked down at the mark on my wrist, still unsure what it was meant for. "...Tim just remember if it does turn out badly, don't try to be a hero."

"What?" Tim seemed caught off guard by the response. "Ashley, what aren't you telling me?"

"I can't lie to him... It'll make things worse if he finds out the truth." I nervously met his eyes. "Please... please, just don't think I'm turning into Alex."

There was dead silence from him and I tore my gaze away to stare back at the floor between us. "I... I did it because I had to. Zac- he wasn't himself anymore... He would've killed us and who knows who else. I-I couldn't save him... It's my fault he became a proxy... I had to be the one to kill him... It was my fault- my responsibility to take care of it."

I was shaking from the guilt and fear of Tim's reaction. Sure, he had killed Alex for killing his friends but would he see it that way? I had killed Mallory too- even if it hadn't been through my own free will. A faint amount of blood smeared my palm from where my nails had dug into the scab. Why wasn't he saying anything?