17 - The Boy Who Hurt Her

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I couldn't breathe. I felt like I'd just been punched extremely hard in the stomach.

"What the-?"

Blaise's strangled voice sounded behind me as we both stared in horror upon the bed where the people we loved lay together.

"Oh!" Bambi cried, immediately sitting up, pulling the sheet up around her.

Draco's horrified eyes met mine and my heart gave a horrific painful wrench.

"Ronnie-" he rasped, his face screwing up in tormented anguish.

I turned on the spot, moving past Blaise. I needed to get out of there. Fast.

"YOU'RE A REAL PIECE OF SHIT, MALFOY!" I heard Blaise thunder. "I HOPE YOU TWO ARE FUCKING HAPPY TOGETHER!"

I ran stumbling down the stairs, barely seeing where I was going, concentrating only on the door where I just about registered Bambi's smirking father standing.

"Ronnie, wait!" I heard Blaise call frantically as his footsteps pounded the stairs behind me.

But I couldn't wait; I couldn't stop until I was safely out of there. I flew out the door, closely followed by Blaise.

"Guess I'll be seeing you, then," I heard Bambi's father mutter smugly, followed by the noise of the front door slamming shut.

I tried to turn on the spot to Disapparate, but I realised I was too upset to be able to do it without Splinching myself.

"Ronnie," Blaise gasped, as I felt his hand closing over my elbow. He wheeled me round, pulling me into his arms and I found myself sobbing into his chest.

"I don't want to be here," I wept, "I need to get away."

"Okay," he soothed, tightening his arms around me. "Just hold on, Ronnie. Hold on."

And I felt the familiar sensation of my breath being sucked out of my body as Blaise proceeded to Disapparate us away from Peverell Manor.

*****

Draco looked at the doorway where Ronnie had just been and felt a sickness in his stomach like he'd never experienced before.

Bambi was weeping hysterically beside him but he couldn't bring himself to comfort her. He felt so ashamed, and utterly horrified.

He grabbed his boxers off the floor, pulling them up, averting his gaze from his distraught fiancée.

Racing to the adjoining bathroom, he kicked the door shut behind him and fell down to the toilet where he heaved his guts up, vomit splattering violently down the insides of the bowl.

When he was finished, he sat back, sobbing into his hands, recalling with horror the events of the previous evening.

He had been so angry at Blaise. He knew deep down, however, that his fury wasn't really about him and Bambi, but rather unresolved anger at Blaise having slept with Ronnie.

And Draco dealt with that anger by drinking a shit load of Firewhisky and falling into bed with Bambi, knowing at the time, with a twisted vulgar satisfaction, how much it would hurt his so called best mate.

Bambi, who had previously showed no interest in wanting sex with him, had seemed reluctantly willing, almost as if Blaise's claim about the engagement being a sham had spurred her on to prove him wrong.

He hadn't thought about how this might hurt Ronnie when he'd fallen down onto the bed with Bambi. He thought only of Blaise and how good it felt to get back at him. His rage had made him so hard and he was shocked at how easy it had been to use someone like this. Maybe because he knew Bambi was using him too. But he hadn't cared at the time. He thought only of revenge and the instant gratification he got from fucking her.

Afterwards, as he listened to Bambi softly crying herself to sleep next to him, he had felt a horrendous dawning guilt.

Because, despite not being with her, and despite being engaged to another woman, he still felt like he had just been unfaithful to Ronnie. His Ronnie.

He was a weak pathetic man who was too cowardly to go against his father's wishes and too afraid to admit his love for the fierce red headed woman whom he knew had always deserved better than him.

Draco Malfoy despised himself.

*****

A large glass of brown liquid was nudged into my hand.

"I know it's early, but let's call it medicinal."

I looked down gratefully at the much needed gift, before taking a large swig, welcoming the searing sensation it caused down my throat.

Blaise sighed, sitting heavily on the sofa next to me, cradling his own large measure of Firewhisky.

We were in his London apartment; the exact same apartment that I had spent two weeks in, six years previously, numbing my pain on wizard powder.

"We shouldn't be surprised. They are getting married." I muttered, hissing as I took another gulp of my drink, trying desperately to erase the image of Draco and Bambi. Together. "They were hardly going to remain celibate for the rest of their fucking lives."

But even as I said this, I knew that I had always carried around this nugget of hope; that Draco wouldn't go ahead with it.

And now it was gone, smashed to smithereens by Draco's fucking dick; leaving me feeling more empty and desolate than I had ever thought possible.

"I'm so sorry," Blaise murmured morosely, "I shouldn't have brought him back into your life. I was just... desperate, you know?"

"No, you fucking shouldn't have," I spat, feeling anger boiling in me like an over bubbling cauldron. "I kept telling you not to interfere, didn't I? And now look at us; crying into Firewhisky at ten o'clock in the fucking morning like the pathetic losers we are. So thanks a fucking bunch, Blaise. Thanks for making my already shit life feel shittier than ever, you complete fucktard!"

And, as the cauldron finally exploded, fury ripped through my stomach, and I angrily tossed my glass across the room so that it smashed against his pristine cream wall. I felt a frisson of grim satisfaction as brown liquid spattered all over it.

"Jesus fuck, Weasley," Blaise spluttered, throwing himself back against the sofa in startlement at my violent outburst. "Just take it easy!"

"I can't," I sobbed, as tears started rolling down my cheeks. "He's hurt me so much, Blaise. And I want to hate him, but I fucking can't."

Blaise swiftly closed the gap between us, wrapping his arms around me as I broke down in gasping, shuddering sobs.

"I know," he murmured in my ear, rocking me gently as he held me tightly to him. "I know, Ronnie."

But I couldn't see how anyone could ever understand the amount of pain that Draco had inflicted on me over the years.

And I wished, in that moment, that I had never fucking met him.

*****

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