Obsession (18+)

Chapter 9

The sensations of love and lust are often confused. People often mistake the two concepts. Thinking they're in love with someone when it was only the burning desire for their body all along. Lust was something that takes. Consuming all the pleasure someone gives you, only caring about your own personal release. Love was something that gives. Giving your heart to someone, not caring about what your needs are, but what your partner's are. The desire of lust is lived only for a short moment, where as the desire of love is forever lasting.

Going through my divorce, I thought I had only experienced one of those: lust.

I refused to believe I held any sort of love for that woman and the difference between the two sensations explained it. I lusted for her. I never gave my love to Loren, I gave her my lust.

But now...now I had experienced both of them because that's what I was compared to Justin. Experienced.

And it was Jesse who had given me the opportunity to go through the emotions of them. She was my love. I didn't want to take anything from her, all I wanted was to give.

She just wasn't accepting it from me.

The get together that the De Rose's were hosting was less than a few hours away. I'd expect it to be full of underaged teenagers intoxicated by the alcohol in their cups that they snuck in. It wouldn't go unnoticed by Marcos and Ariena, but they were easygoing when it come to stuff like that. As long as no one was driving drunk.

My only hope was that Justin wasn't going to be there because that was the last thing I wanted. But who was I kidding? I knew he would be there and would be more concerned if he wasn't.

I stood in front of my bathroom mirror buttoning up the buttons on my dark grey shirt. Once I was finished, I rolled the sleeves up to my elbows. My hands reached up to tousle around with my hair, combing back the mess of dark brown strands.

"You ready?" I grunted out to Carissa, who was sitting on the plush sofa in a sheer white coverup and a packed bag beside her whilst she typed away on her phone.

She purses her lips and wordlessly nodded her head in reply, not even sparing a glance in my direction.

"Come on then, we're leaving."

"Dad?" She called out, not moving from her seat like I had told her to. I raised my eyebrows in response. "Are you okay?"

I didn't expect her to ask that, nor did I know the reason as to why she did, but it caught me by surprise. I had an idea, but I didn't want to answer it and give her the wrong response if it was pertaining to something different.

My eyebrows furrowed together and I crossed my arms over my chest. I responded, "Yes. Why do you ask?"

She flipped her straight hair over her shoulder, running her fingers through it, "I don't know." Carissa puffed out her cheeks, "You just don't seem like yourself lately. I know you're usually a hardass, but on edge? Maybe."

"Work has been stressful, Carissa." I smiled meekly at her.

My daughter frowned at me, unconvinced, "Are you sure? You usually don't get like this unless mom is brought up—"

I finally snapped back at her, clenching my fists by my side. "Get in the car, Carissa. We're late." I didn't want to hear anything about the woman, especially if it was coming from Carissa. I had moved on with my life. To bigger and better things. She was now a skeleton in my closet and Jesse was the fresh, blooming flower bud in front of me waiting to be nourished.

Without another word said between us two, she tucked her hair behind her ears, pushed her shoulders back and lifted her chin up. Perhaps she took some of what I said to the heart, but it Carissa knew she was only pushing my boundaries.