𝒓𝒆𝒑𝒍𝒂𝒄𝒆𝒎𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒔 | 𝑩𝒓𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕𝑾𝒊𝒏

Chapter 6 [Bright]

June 2020

I stood motionless in front of the name that carved to the stone. I was trying hard not to let my tear fall.

Tine, I'm back...

I smiled when I felt the wind caressed my hair. As if He answered me. As if he was here.

I could feel my expression changing and I fought it. I couldn't look sad, at least not here.

"Hey Tine, It's been a year. I've done my therapy, just like what you told me. Are you well? Because I'm living a hell down here." I shook my head. "I'm sorry, I-" I choked then steadied my own voice before continued, "I'm fine here. I'm trying to, to live your life. The only reason I'm still on this ground is you, Tine. Do you miss me like I miss you? Have you forgive me? I lived this past year with regrets, and I'm happy with it. At least now I know how regret feels like." I chuckled.

It was true though. By feeling regrets, I knew that I was at least 'cured'. Then I remembered that day, at the coffee shop. "Tine, have you ever visited me? Because I think I saw you that day. The day I decided to live my life again. When I tried to improve myself." But of course, there was no answer to my question.

I looked up, to the dark clouds. "I guess it's my time to go. Or I'll be drained in rain when I walk back home." I hesitated, "I just want to  let you know, that I love you. I still love you." I smiled. "Bye Tine, I'll see you soon." When I'm happy and be my better self. I mentally noted myself.

Then I started to walk down the streets of Bangkok. Back to my apartment.

Yes, I came back to Thailand right after my therapist told me that I've completed my sessions. Since then I did nothing much. Just being my passive self.

I didn't dare to date. I didn't even socialize.

I was afraid. Afraid that the history would repeat itself.

I felt a cold water on my cheeks. I thought I was crying but then I looked up. It started raining.

I ran to the park next to me, sat below the big tree. I knew it wouldn't do much to cover myself from the full force of rain to drench me, but I didn't want to go home, yet.

I hugged my knees. A gloomy day didn't help at all. I missed Tine so much.

I started crying, just like the rain.

The Rain sound was enough to cover my sobs for people to hear –and that's if there was any people nearby— but I could still clearly hear myself.

I hated myself for being so weak. It's been a year, Bright. Let go, or you'll not going anywhere.

Then I felt a hand touched mine. I jolted up in surprise.

The hand was cold, and it was raining. I thought I met a ghost.

I raised my head painfully slow when I saw the person in front of me.

Fuck, Tine?!

I almost ran when I heard his voice. "Are you okay?"

I stayed.

"Who are you?"

As if regained his senses, he said, "Oh! I'm sorry I didn't introduced myself. "I'm Win Metawin, you can call me Win. And we've met before." He said grinning.

For the nth time that day, I cursed myself.

***

The tears came rushing by itself, I couldn't held them anymore. I felt this guy's hand tightened around me but I retreated. "Don't touch me!"