The next morning
Aj pov
I had just woken up dean wasn't beside me but I could hear someone in the bathroom I went closer going to open it but then i heard another voice it was dean and sami
Jon look at me sami said look your not gonna do anything stupid are you sami said jon answer me man he said I opened the door and dean was standing in front of the mirror and sami was behind him with his hand on dean's back whats going on I said they both turned to look at me how much did you hear sami asked enough I said back but looking at dean Dean please don't think of doing something stupid I said he looked away from me I looked at sami and he looked worried as I did sami gave me a look as if to say leave and ill try get him to open up I nodded my head and left the room and went in to the living room roman and seth were sitting there guys I said Yeah they both answered turning to look at me im worried about dean I said so are we they said yeah but I mean I over heard sami asking him if he was gonna go do something stupid I said as soon as they heard thay the stood up what they said i mean sami has seen him come close to it before so I mean can he tell that dean might be thinking about it I asked I dont no I hope that his not they said looking worried when we hear them yelling
Man I'm sick of this I'm sick of things going wrong Dean yelled
Jon your not thinking straight dont even say that sami said seriously we walked to the bedroom to hear what was going on
Don't you think I know im not thinking straight dean yelled
Just chill out take a moment sami said
I can't chill out he yelled im tired im tired of it all he said more quietly then talk to me get it of your chest you know what ever is said between us is kept between us you know that sami said we heard a bang jon stop stop it sami yelled I wanted to go in but I couldn't face seeing dean like this it broke my heart
Jon stop ok look at me ok look at me he said
Jon he said softly you can't be left alone I can't risk you going to do something I can't lose you man sami said clearly upset I know dean said jon sami said what dean answered where are your pain killers he asked dean there in the bed room he said ok I'm gonna go get them then im keeping hold of them sami said then opened the door as soon as sami was out dean slammed the door and locked it sami was banging on the door begging dean to let him in
I went and look round the bedroom
Guys I said they all looked at me
His pain killers are not here I said scaring myself now that I just said that they all looked at me then sami started banging on the door again
Jon let me in please he begged it was very quiet in there sami was freaking out roman told him to move out the way and he kicked the door but it didn't open witch ment dean was clearly sitting behind it cause it opened but not very far
Jon let me in sami said jon he said there was no answer we started panicking even more dean I said no answer sami pushed the door abut more and manged to fit though the gap jon w - but sami stopped talking and it went quiet guys I said dont worry sami said dean move away from the door so we can come in I said he didn't answer just stay out a minute sami said what was he not telling us was dean really ok it went quiet again I pushed on the door but it opened easily meaning dean had moved we walked in and dean was sat on the floor with he head facing down dean I said he didn't even move but sami got up and told us to leave the room I could see it in his eyes something was up tell me what's going on I said as I let a tear fall down just leave us for a moment ok he said his voice shaky we pushed us out and shut the door he couldn't lock it tho it was quiet for a little but then we could hear stuff couldn't tell what it was tho we sat on mine and dean's bed waiting for sami to let us in after 15 minutes he opened the door and we got up and went to the door dean was still sat on the floor I went over to him and lifted his head up to face me he was really pale and didn't look good at all I turned and looked at sami and he looked like he had been crying roman and seth came over so did sami sami held out his hand and dean took it and got up was he was on his feet he stumbled backwards and leaned on the wall
What the hell happened I asked looking and sami who looked like he wanted to cry again I walked out along with seth and roman who aint said a word and looked really worried sami helped dean over to the bed and put him in it in then went back in to the bath room and came back out with dean's pain killers and walked to the living room giving us a look to follow him we did what happened I asked H - he he started but couldn't finish before they tears started coming down I knew what he was trying to say and I think seth and roman click on to it too he tried to kill himself didn't he I asked tears streaming down my face he nodded his head yes and thats when I broke down seth was crying a little too he just heard his brother tried to kill himself roman let a little tear out too we all hugged and sami was losing it he was in tears saying he couldn't lose dean
The next morning
Me and the boys hadn't been able to sleep at all last night I heard something in my room the boys didn't seem to hear it I got up and went in the room Dean had his arms over his face I went over and just wanted to cry again when I saw him dean I said softly he moved his arm slightly to look at me and I could see his eyes they were red but then he moved his arm back and didn't say a word dean I said again
He didn't move or talk just laid there dean please talk to me I said letting at tear fall he moved his arms fully so I could see his face
I'm sorry he said quietly im so sorry he said covering his face with his hands I fuck up everything he said
What no you don't dont say that I said moving his hands away from his face and holding them he looked Me dead in the eyes im sorry he said again Why did you do it I asked him I d -dont no he said promise me you will never try that again I said to him putting my pinky out I can't do that I can't make a promise that I might not be able to keep he said looking away from me I stood there in shock on what he just said
