Lost&Found | Outer Banks/JJ/

Same pains.

The sun had disappeared, stars were becoming visible in the night sky. Everything was still and quiet. Alana and JJ were out on the dock standing a few feet away from each other. There was a lot going on in her mind that she hadn't said not one word since they got near the water.

JJ continued to gaze at her. She didn't take notice of him watching her. This was the first time he found himself being around a girl who he found attractive, extremely attractive, but did not wonder what she looked like underneath her clothes. Yes he notices where her body curves, the shape of her and takes in every small detail. How she always holds her head up high when she walks. How one eyebrow is always raised higher than the other when she's listening to someone. How she taps her finger against her arm when in deep thought and chews on her lower lip, eyes narrowed.

She has this glow to her and she shines all the time. By now he would've tried to get behind that door but he hasn't. Alana is different. For once he doesn't want to be on the other side of the door. It was odd even for him. As he studies her carefully he can see a part of himself in her but he wonders about her past; is it as dark as his? Despite how bubbly she is at times, always laughing or smiling even when nothing is being said, he believes deep down she has suffered and hides it all behind that smile. Even the ones who laugh the most have darkness within them. JJ has a feeling that maybe she does. He isn't sure how he knows that but he just does and he wants to get inside her head, know more about her and what makes Alana her. This has never happened before with JJ.

"You're so quiet..." JJ speaks. His eyes continue scanning Alana's face who was currently looking up at the dark sky chewing on her lower lip. She does that often. She hums but doesn't say anything. Too lost in her head full of thoughts.

"Hey" JJ whispers, "I know we haven't known each other for long but we see you as one of us now. Those people inside" he points back to the house, "they're my family. They have created this safe space for me and I want you to feel like you can have that too with me... with all of us." Alana's gaze falls down to her toes. Sarah had painted them white the night before. White toes have always been her favorite, it makes her look more tan.

"I'm too scared to let anyone in. All the way in" her voice is barely audible. "The idea of allowing someone into my head is a fear of mine."

"Eventually you have to get over your fears."
"How?" Alana tilts her head, still looking down at her feet.

"Talk to me... lets start there. Only if you want to of course but I want you to" his eyes soften. This was not the normal JJ Maybank but he can't control the way he gets when around her.

Alana sighs deeply. She doesn't know where to start or how to even start this conversation. How to talk to someone who isn't Sarah is something new to her. Never has she had a friend who she can tell everything to and hope they'd understand her instead of judging her for how she feels or thinking what she does. It gets dark up there.