Between Two Worlds (Aizawa x Reader)

Chapter Thirty-nine: Shall We Begin

(Reader's POV)

By the time we had both gotten ourselves cleaned up, laundry was already finished. By now, we had spent the majority of our morning enjoying ourselves, we needed to make sure no one else knew of what we were doing.

"Is it really a big deal if they knew?" I asked, putting on a shirt.

"As much as I wish it weren't, I'm afraid it would be." he said as he finished zipping up his top, "Becoming intimate creates a massive conflict of interest under the usual role of a guardian. And the others will likely see it as me abusing the power dynamic between us." He took my face in his hands, lightly stroking his thumb across my cheek, "In order for us to continue doing this, we must unfortunately maintain secrecy."

"But I wanted this, too." I argued, "I'm just as culpable."

He shook his head.

"They won't see it that way. You're the one I'm supposed to look after, not the other way around. It's my duty as a pro to maintain a higher standard for myself and others, even if it goes against my own wishes. Whether I like it or not, the rules should still apply." he said.

I sighed and looked down from him, saddened that this was the way we had to go about this.

"Hey," he softly said, getting my attention, "I don't like this anymore than you do. But if it's the only way I can be with you, I'll take my chances."

"You're not doing this because you're ashamed to be with me, right?" I asked. As dumb as I felt asking such a thing, I had experience before with people wanting to keep a relationship under wraps, but only because they wanted to have their cake and eat it, too. Not because they were trying to protect me. As much as I didn't think he was that kind of person, I was naive before. I didn't want to feel that way again.

"God, no," he said, shaking his head, "As withdrawn as I may be, I'm not one to hide things in order to maintain some sort of status as a bachelor."

"What about your job? Your reputation?" I asked, getting increasingly nervous the more I thought about the repercussions of doing this.

He sighed and looked down.

"I knew there would be a huge risk. It's one of the reasons I held off for as long as I did." he looked back up at me, "I knew the moment I engaged in anything like this with you, I wouldn't be able to stop myself."

"So is that why you told me not to do what I did back at the gym?" I asked.

"Well, that certainly was a surprise, I'll give you that." I recalled him saying in my head, "but don't do that again."

I remembered just how desperate and torn he looked when he told me that. I didn't understand why at that point, but now, it made sense.

He hummed and nodded.

"I didn't trust myself to maintain that distance if you had done something like that again. And to be honest, I still don't know if I could even if we were found out." he said, his demeanor changing slightly into something more unsure, "I know that by doing this, it puts me in a rather precarious position. There's a lot that can go wrong here, but I knew what I was signing up for when we started this."

"I'm sorry for making this worse for you." I mumbled, feeling guilty.

He kissed my forehead and brushed his hand through my hair.

"You didn't make me do anything. I asked you if this was what you wanted, and I was the one who sealed my own fate last night when I kissed you. My actions were my own as your actions are for you." he said, his eyes filled with earnest. 

I held his hand and took a deep breath.

"Regardless of who did what first, I'm in this with you. I'll do my best to keep quiet, even though I want nothing more than to shout it from the rooftops." I said, hoping my cooperation would reassure him in some way.

He chuckled.

"While I appreciate your enthusiasm, I'm personally not one for theatrics." he teased, as he tossed his capture weapon on his shoulders.

I scoffed.

"How exactly is that true when you're friends with one of the most dramatic heroes in this universe?" I asked, poking fun at him.

"Sometimes, I don't choose my friends. They choose me." he said as he headed toward the kitchen, grabbing something out of the fridge. He pulled out a couple of cartons of pre-made summer rolls and handed one to me. "We unfortunately don't have a whole lot of time for a cooked meal, so this will have to do for now. We'll need to leave within an hour."

I graciously took the food and headed over to the table to eat with him.

"I'm not one to complain." I said as we both sat down, "Especially when you've already worked up my appetite." I said softly, but enough that he could hear me if he wanted to.

"Care to explain?" he asked, raising a brow and smirking.

I playfully booped him on the nose.

"We're about to eat, so no shenanigans." I teased, giving him a smile.

After our quick meal, we headed over to UA. We were both relatively silent during the travel, I'm guessing to maintain an image that we weren't close. For me, I was more nervous about what today was going to entail. Aizawa didn't even know what "Plan A" was all about, and that made me anxious. Both of us were going in blind, and that didn't settle the thoughts bouncing around in my head.
What if this experiment doesn't work?
What if it makes it worse?
What if it solves everything?
Would I never see any of them again?
Would all of this just disappear?
While I wanted to be reunited with my family and my own environment, I was falling so hard and fast for him. I wasn't ready to let him go. Not yet.
All of this seemed to come so fast, and I was only just starting to get used to being here. None of this seemed fair.
As we got off the train and walked down the street towards the gates of UA, I felt the pit of my stomach start to drop. Even though I could keep a pretty calm appearance, my head felt like it was about to explode, along with my heart. I looked at Aizawa who seemed just as distant as I did. I couldn't help but wonder if he was just as afraid or upset by all of this as I was. I wanted so badly to grab onto his hand for security and peace of mind, but I knew I couldn't now that we were out in public.

'God, this fucking sucks.' I thought.

As we approached the gate, I noticed Principal Nezu waiting for us. My nerves began to intensify once he spotted us.

"Ah! Good afternoon, you two!" he said, just as cheery as ever, "Glad to see you're well, and right on schedule!" He noticed the look on my face, "You seem nervous, my dear."

I gulped.

"Well, yeah. I have no idea what's going to happen, so I can't help but be a bit scared." I answered honestly.

"Fear of the unknown is normal, but we mustn't let it stop us from seeking change for the betterment of ourselves and our future. Don't worry, dear. You're in good hands." he said as reassuringly as possible, "Now, shall we begin?"