Reincarnated extra refuses to die

Arc 1. Chapter 1-10

Looking at myself in the mirror made me want to cry.

There are mirrors back home, of course there are, but they're old, worn out, and show signs of rust on the edges. The image reflected is always a little distorted.

Looking at myself in a nice mirror was another experience entirely. Now that I was clean, there were no excuses, really. No excuses for my opaque, dull hair. No excuses for the red shining on my forehead, cheekbones and the point of my nose after continuous sun exposure. No excuses for my dry skin. No excuses for my sunken face and the clothes hanging off my shoulders when they were supposed to be my size.

Emily was a professional. She didn't say anything nor changed her expression when she saw the way my ribs protruded from my skin. I didn't raise a finger to help her and she managed to have me both cleaned and dressed in a nice black plated skirt reaching just above my knees and a white crisp shirt with puffy sleeves and a black ribbon tied around the collar. She even pinned some cute hair decorations; silver barrettes with pearls attached on top of them; on the left side of my hair after brushing it until all the knots were gone.

Despite all the care taken with me, there was no way to cover up the one fact that jumped first upon seeing my reflection. I was ugly. No, I was not ugly, but I did feel ugly. Every little aspect of me screamed of neglect. It wasn't even my fault, but that didn't make me feel any better.

Emily had left a while ago, to look for creams and lotions for my dry skin, but honestly, it was nothing but a waste of time. I had to resist the temptation of snarling just thinking of her acting all caring. What does it matter how I look? Why waste any creams on me? I'm going to die anyway. She knows it. The guards know it. The young masters know it. Everyone knows it. The point in bringing me here wasn't fixing me, it was to give me some days of peace and luxury before the inevitable end.

It was all just so... frustrating. I was alone in the bedroom in that moment, but I didn't need to look to know one of the guards Lucas left behind was standing outside my door. The other one was standing outside just below my balcony, I saw him when I opened the doors to let in some of the fresh night air.

Escape was impossible at this very moment, and honestly, I was just so tired after an entire day of emotional stress the only thing I wanted to do was plop down on the bed and sleep my worries away. What prevented me from doing so was Lucas' words about dinner. I was starving, and I wouldn't mind eating something before collapsing.

My eyes automatically went to the clock atop one of the nightstands. One in the morning. It was late. When Emily went looking for the creams it was still twelve-thirty. Half an hour seemed like too much time, if you asked me. But it didn't matter. I only wanted something to eat, and distract me from the image in the mirror that was tearing me inside.

A knock sounded just in time.

"Come in" I said, still looking at my reflection, finding more and more imperfections as I scanned myself. Then, a delicious aroma permeated the air. I turned and looked at Lucas, holding a tray with a dish, a jug, a glass and bread. I admit I was surprised seeing him carrying the food instead of one of the servants.

He was surprised too, but likely for a different reason. His eyes inspected me from head to toe, and I couldn't help but fidget under his scrutiny. Unlike Emily, I could see the emotion behind his eyes. Horror, regret, and, worse of all, pity.

"What's for dinner?" I asked nonchalantly, trying to divert his attention. Lucas was a smart boy. He blinked for a moment, confused, before shaking his head and walking over to me.

"I didn't know what you like, so I asked the chef to make something simple but nutritious. It's grilled salmon with a side of asparagus and cherry tomatoes. There's also bread and... water. Sorry if you wanted juice, but since you... well, water would be..."