𝐟𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐟𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫|| hoshi

|| nine ||

i opened my eyes and was greeted by a bright sun and blue sky.

where the hell am i?

i sat up straight and observed my surroundings. i was in a field full of beautoful red poppies.

i stood up and walked towards God knows where.

"i knew it! what the fuck are you doing here, kwon soonyoung?!" a familiar voice raged from behind me.

i turned around and saw the person who i never thought i would see again.

"HANA" i ran towards her and wrappef my arms around her. "i thought i'd never see you again" i whispered.

however, she didn't seem happy to see me. she pulled away and frowned. "soonyoung, what happened?"

"what do you mean?" i furrowed my brows at her. "and why aren't you happy to see me? and please explain where the hell am i? did they ship us somewhere or something?"

"you're still so fucking slow, even in situtations like this" she sighed and looked at me in disapproval. "only souls come here, soonyoung. this is where souls go before they cross the bridge"

so i'm dead?

my eyes widened in realization. i put a hand over my mouth in shock. "everything makes sense now" i mumbled. "wah, this is wgat being dead feels like. feels pretty good"

she slapped my arm and glared at me like she always does. she approached me and put a hand on my chest.

she sighed in relief, "you're not fully dead, thank God"

"so i'm.. not dead?"

she shook her head and smiled. "close your eyes, you'll be able to hear people shouting 'CLEAR'"

i closed my eyes and she was right. tbe sound of people crying and shouting doctors isn't really a beautiful sound.

i scrunched my nose and opened my eyes. "can't they be less loud?"

she giggled and shook her head. "you're going to go back soon"

"do i have the choice to stay dead?" i asked, earning another slap from her. "okay, okay"

"you might not remember this happening" hana said, making me frown.

"i'll make sure i'll remember"

hana and i sat down on the grassy ground. we admired the beautiful flowers and the clear, blue sky. 

i looked at her and put her hand in mine. "hana, why didn't you tell me?"

"i know you, soonyoung. you would never let me die. i'm sure you would have either forced yourself to love me or force me to get the surgery"

"if you only told me, i would have loved you"

she smiled and continued to stare at the sky. "i didn't want you to love me because of my disease, soonyoungie. besides, i lived a happy life. i felt loved my whole life"

"hana, that—"

i stopped when i felt the something starting to thump in my chest. i put a hand on my left chest and felt my heartbeat.

"no, it's too soon" i frowned. "hana, i'm not going, no" i pulled her into a tight hug.

"soonyoung, you have to go" she softly said and pulled away. "people need you there, soonyoungie. you have to debut and live your dream. your family needs you, soonyoung"

"i can't.. not after what i've done to you" tears started to escape my eyes again. "i don't want to leave you again"

"i'd be incredibly happy if you live your life, soonyoung", she reached for my face and wiped away my tears gently. "you did nothing wrong. it was my choice. i prepared a whole ass letter for you so don't be sad. i love you soonyoung, with all my heart"

she lowered my head a bit and tiptoed. she planted a gentle kiss on my forehead and wrapped her arms around me.

"i love you hana" i whispered softly.

"continue to be the bright star that you are, soonyoung. never turn dull"

were the last words she said to me.

i love you, cha hana.