Thanks for reading to the ones that do! I love you!
This is based on Rihanna's song 'unfaithful', since it just kinda reminds me of how El might feel.
Enjoy my loves !
Eleanor PoV:
I hated it. I hated that I had to be Louis's fake girlfriend. I just hated it. Not that I had anything against him, that wasn't the problem, I loved this guy, he was my best friend. Spending time together and pretending to date really 'forced' us to be friends, and we just got on really well.
However, I knew he hated that he had to pretend to date me when we were in public, when all he wanted was to cuddle Harry.
My problem was that I had a boyfriend myself, Max, and I really loved him. For a few months, when Lou and I were 'broken up', I was even allowed to date him publicly, but now Simon forced me back into being my best friend's beard.
And I loved to spend time with the tiny boy, I did, but he was the wrong person to hold hands with when we were on walks. I always imagined him being Max, and I knew he imagined me being Harry.
Harry. He was another problem. I loved this one nearly as much as I loved Louis, but he was so hurt by me and Louis doing anything we were told to, that he was either pissed off or heartbroken everytime I saw him. Well, except for the times when Larry, Max and I spent time together, then he was happily cuddling with Louis and being just totally adorable.
I thought back to the time when Harry had his photoshoot for Gucci. Louis decided to go with him, but sadly Simon found out and sent me to Italy to make it seem like Louis and I were on a holiday.
We were on a walk and just casually talking, when I saw a few paparazzi and grabbed Louis's hand. I could feel him tensing up and trying to let go of my hand, but I whispered "Paps, Lou, we gotta do our job, remember?" into his ear.
He nodded and wrapped his arm around my shoulder, his hand searching for mine. I brought my arm up and intertwined our fingers, smiling at him.
We kept on walking and reached his car soon after. Louis drove me to my hotel and told me he'd go and see his baby, which was adorable. He really cared more for Harry than for anyone else and yet he still was forced to be with me.
He drove off again and I went to my hotel room. I changed into something more comfy and opened my mail program, searched for Simon's mail address and started writing:
Dear Mr. Cowell,
I'm emailing you because I want to quit being Louis's beard. I can't stand being the reason why he is so sad, I just don't want to feel like a murderer anymore. That's exactly how I feel: like I'm murdering both Louis and Harry. Everytime Louis has to go out with me, Harry's smile gets a bit sadder, his eyes lose their sparkle, and his entire body changes. He can't stand being away from Louis, his HUSBAND, knowing he's with someone else. And I know that Louis can't stand being with me when he'd rather be with Harry. It's so hard for the both of them, and we're living in the 21st century, homosexuality shouldn't be a problem anymore. So please, just stop forcing something onto all of us. I have a boyfriend, Louis and Harry are married. It's not doing any good to any of us. I'm begging you, just open your eyes and let them, let US, be free. I beg you.
Eleanor J. Calder
I pressed send. To be honest, I doubted it would change anything, but I couldn't just do nothing. It was true, though. Everytime Louis saw me when he didn't invite me and Max over, I could see him die a little more inside. I just didn't want to do this anymore.
I knew that for Louis and Harry, I was both, curse and blessing. Blessing because I was the reason they could be together (Simon told them if Louis didn't agree to 'dating' me, they wouldn't be allowed to live together, having married, yet date each other.), but this was the curse at the same time. They could only be together because of me, and that was why they were both so broken: Louis had to spend way too much time with me.
Well, it wasn't the only reason, the main problem was Simon, but I knew some part of Louis hated me for being with him.
My ringing phone snapped me out of my thoughts. Louis. "Eleanor, Eleanor, Eleanooooooor!", he said excitedly. "Louis, Louis, Louiiiiiis", I mocked him, fake-excitedly. "Not funny. El, imagine what's happened!" "Sorry. I dunno, what could be so good you have to call me after we were out for dinner?", I asked him. "It's Harry. He just told me he got one month off, and I happen to have close to nothing to do this month, so we can spend all day together!", he explained, voice laced with excitement, happiness and love. "This is amazing, Lou. Uhmm, sorry to be the one who tells you, but you realize if Harry's completely out of the media for a month and you are too, there will be rumours again, and Simon won't like that?", I just had to tell him.
"I know, El, I know we'll have to go out again, but apart from that we're free for a month!" I knew they weren't free because Simon hated them being alone together, but I didn't wanna break his heart, so I just agreed to it being amazing and ended the call.
This was exactly why I hated Simon. He always had to ruin everything. I hated everything, but I knew I wasn't able to change a thing, so I just went with it.
I don't wanna be a murderer.
