Adopted by Loki

Chapter 42

I woke up and looked over at the digital clock and the glowing digits stared back at me 5:47 I ran a hand over my face yawning as exhaustion hit me, "why do I feel so tired but can't sleep?" I mumbled to myself I rolled out of bed and tiptoed out of the room careful to not wake Jefferson. I walked over to Grace's room and peaked in smiling when I saw her sleeping form cuddling a teddy bear I closed the door and walked down the stairs and headed into the kitchen I jumped when I heard Bucky's hushed voice behind me, "can't sleep?" I shook my head, "I can't everytime I close my eyes everything wrong I've ever done flashes behind my eyes I'm a horrible person I don't deserve any of this." he wrapped his arms around me and I laid my head against his chest as tears welled in my ear, "you're right you don't deserve this you deserve way better you deserve happiness." I smiled as a tear rolled down my cheek, "I'm not gonna lie I didn't like Jefferson at first, but then I saw how happy he made you and I let him grow on me." I giggled pulling away, "when are you gonna admit your feelings for Steve." red creeped up his neck up into his cheeks, "I don't know what you're talking about." I sighed, "hun look at me." he reluctantly lifted his eyes to meet mine, "he loves you James I see the look in his eye it's the same one Jefferson and I give each other and don't tell him I told you this but when we were searching for you he would break down when he thought everyone was sleeping he was miserable without you you're what's holding him together after all these years." tears filled his eyes, "but I'm a monster." I shook my head, "you're James Buchanan Barnes you are NOT the Winter Soldier you are not to blame for what Hydra did to you." I wiped a tear that fell, "Steve doesn't care about all that he only sees his best friend from the forties that he's in complete in utter love with." I lowered my voice as I noticed Steve walking down the stairs. Bucky turned his head following my gaze and I grinned, "just tell him how you feel you'll thank me later." I kissed his cheek and pushed him in the direction of Steve I turned letting them have their privacy and grabbed all the ingredients I needed to make breakfast as I was finishing I let out a groan as a jolt of pain ran through my head and I braced myself on the counter blinking away tear I fell to the ground as images filled my brain Jefferson stood in the hallway with tears streaming down his face as he held a baby, "you're mama was a wonderful person and I'll miss her." I gasped and covered my mouth as a sob exited my lips I leaned against the cabinet, "I'm not gonna survive this." I set the plates of food onto the table and quickly exited the house not allowing myself to look back.

**********************************************************************Sorry this is a short chapter I promise the next one will be longer-💙