hot garbage / my old writing

ted | one

"Come now, Electrika, you don't want to be late to pick up your new sister!" Mother said. (why are we talking about her like she's a puppy or something?)

"Why can't we just let it die or something?" Electrika said. "Besides, one little girl isn't worth the trouble to go to Zelindia, OUT OF ACTINIUMITE BOUNDS may I remind you AGAIN?" (okay but she do be spittin' straight facts though.)

Electrika already had to suffer living with two sisters. She was determined not to get another one. (big oof)

"Electrika, don't be such a chicken." Cordelia said.

"I'm not a chicken, I just don't want trouble." Electrika grumbled.

"Oh, yeah?" Cordelia said. "Prove it! Get going and let's get our new baby sister!"

"You're pushing it, Delia, you're making me mad..." Electrika said.

(struggling to read through all these useless dialogue tags? same.)

"Guys, stop it!" Glacia said. "We're just going to Zelindia because we don't have a hospital in the Boundaries. So we had to go there, let the baby get checked and given shots, and now all we're doing is picking her up." (i absolutely despise info-dumping ew.)

"What if some of the shots they gave the baby had poison in it? Or what if they hid a bomb inside her diaper? Or what if..." Electrika began. (okay literally... what?)

"Girls!" Mother exclaimed impatiently. "Glacia's right. All we're doing is picking her up. Now, let's get going, before they kill the baby!" (woah dramatic)

"Oh, that's so comforting." Electrika said sarcastically.

"So, Glacia, why can't we have any doctors in the Boundaries? Can't the Zelindians just give us one?" Cordelia asked. (idiot, why don't you know your own history?)

"It's because we're Actiniumites and we're under Zelindian control." Glacia said. "And Zelindians, along with everyone else in the world, hates Actiniumites."

"Why do they hate us?" Cordelia asked. (okay, seriously. you're a fool.)

"Long ago, there was a king named Actinium, who was very cruel. Almost everyone hated Actinium, except for a Group that followed Actinium, who named themselves Actiniumites. Everyone hated the Actiniumites, just because of their evil king which they followed. But he died in a battle, so I see no reason to hate us anymore, but apparently they do somehow." (okay is the history lesson over? we literally just talked about all this in the prologue.)

"Why are you so smart?" Cordelia asked as Glacia blushed. (she's smart just because she knows about the discrimination of her people? umm okay cordelia.)

"Oh, well, I'm not that smart, I just read a lot of books." Glacia said.

"She's not smart." Electrika said. "She just acts like it." (tbh i'm on electrika's side)

"Electrika," Mother scolded, "Be nice. Just because the other Groups think we're barbaric doesn't mean we have to act like it."

(side note: how are we this far into the chapter and i still don't know whose pov we're in?)

Once they got past the guards at the run-down Boundaries Gate, it was a life or death experience. For one, all Zelindians that saw them were automatically trying to kill them. For two, Electrika was getting angry at the Zelindians for trying to kill them (you would be too if you had to run across a place that everyone was trying to kill you and you were going just to get something you didn't want) and was trying to hurt (possibly kill) them for even thinking about hurting her sisters and Mother. (wow mckenna, that's so cool. you'd think we'd want to read about that journey, right?) I would tell you more about their journey, but not just yet. That would give away the ending, and you're only at chapter one!