Samantha

Chapter 22

My friends came to visit me after Christina.
Their expressions somber.
I was glad they came, it reminded me of my past life, a life I would without a doubt not be able to return to.
They encouraged me to stay strong.
And promised they would visit frequently.
When the guard came and told me I had a visitor a few days later, I wasn't expecting anyone.
I was surprised to see my sister Rebecca staring at me through the glass.

"I'm sorry I couldn't visit earlier Zack".

She sounded tired, I guessed that she didn't sleep much these days, from the dark circles under her eyes.

"It's okay Becca, I understand"
I tried to comfort her.

"No it's not Zack, I've been trying to convince mom and dad to come and see you, but they refuse.
It's almost like . . ."

"Like what?"
I asked, fearing that I already knew the answer.

She started crying and I could see how difficult it was for her to speak.

"Like you don't exist".
She said between sobs.

"Or maybe they think that as long as they stay away they can forget you and move on".

"I can't blame them".
I replied calmly.
Inside my emotions were anything but.
I couldn't let Rebecca see that, I needed to stay strong if not for me then for her, I knew that seeing me in this place broke her heart.

She looked at me and I smiled a false, tight smile but it seemed to cheer her up a little as she wiped away her tears.

"Don't be mad at them, I can barely stand to look at myself each morning.
Can't expect them to.
Besides what I did was wrong, and
a part of me knows I desserve my punishment".

"Don't say that!"
She pressed her hand against the glass.

"You made a mistake, you're not beyond redemption.
I can see it in your eyes Zack, you'll come back from this, I know you will".

How was Rebecca able to have so much faith in me despite the lack of trust I had in myself?
Maybe it wasn't me she was trying to convince.
Maybe if she accepted the fact, that I took Trent from her and my parents she really wouldn't be able to forgive me.
I resigned not to tell her of my observation,
false hope was still better than no hope at all!

I stayed up that night staring at the ceiling, the walls inside my cell were bare and they did nothing to ease my pain.
I was afraid to fall asleep, for my demons would follow me into the landscapes of my dreams and turn them into nightmares.

I closed my eyes and silently wished for reprieve.

The day of deliverance finally arrived two years later,
when I was released.

Chris and Eric were waiting outside to pick me up.
Apparently two years were more then enough for Eric to get his driver's license.
I embraced them with all of my heart,
they had kept their promise and visited as often as they could.
They couldn't even begin to imagine how much their friendship meant to me.