twenty four

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- Gulf -

"P', you know what?" I heard him stifled a laugh when the breeze kept tousling my hair. He combs my hair as he smile and hummed. "I never imagined that my wish from before actually came true." I saw wrinkles formed when he knitted his brows. I was actually stunned for a while as I stare right into his face. My head rests on his lap while we both lie on the grass here in the school field, far from the noise. My position lets me get a  good sight of how his face is perfectly sculptured. From those doe eyes of his, to his high-bridged nose, to his prominent cheekbones, to his naturally soft red lips that I wish to touch my lips... Wait. No.

"I mean, back from when I wished I could use someone else's lap to become my pillow. You know how it sucks when using your bag. A real discomfort, unlike this one." I messed my head on his lap that sure gives a teasing look on his face.

"Hey, don't ever think of using someone else's lap instead of mine. You can only use mine." That sudden change to a firm look makes me want to tease him more. "I'm not sure. Maybe I'll go for it if it feels better than this." I saw his face went all shocked from what I said. Now, that's more I like it. "You what? You're not sure?" I nodded while closing my eyes.

"Not sure, huh?" His big hands reached for my sides and starts doing a crime; tickling crime. "Hahahahaha, P'Mew. Hahahahaha s-stop hahahahaha it hahahahahaha." My words are cut in between my laughter along with the involuntary twitching of my body. 

"I can't hear you." 

"Hahahahahahaha yours hahahaha only hahahahaha yours only hahahaha." He then stopped from tickling my poor body. I tried catching my breath while there are still some giggling left. 

"That's what you get for betraying me. And this..." His face totally blocked the view of the sky ahead of me as he brings himself- his face nearer to mine until his lips touched my lips. It was brief but the feeling lingers. "Is for sealing the deal. Let's go, we still have classes to attend to." I nodded at him with a smile and he smiles back. 

It has been 2 weeks already since we moved in together.  I haven't told the boys yet because they'll just tease me over it. The life with him, if you ask? It is perfect. Just from the sole thought of having the one you love next to you every single day is already enough and perfect. Also, I got to know him more. From his sleeping habits, routines, his likes and dislikes, how bossy he can get and many more. Even as days pass by, I am still learning more of his hidden sides, which is one of the many things I look forward to in everyday. It was really perfect. There's nothing more I could wish for.

Until one night.

That nightmare.

That nightmare that keeps appearing every night.

That nightmare that made me miserable every night.

I was running. I don't know why I was running but I know for sure that if I stop, something will catch up. My chest started to feel stuffy as my tears started to run down my face. I can't breath. I am tired of running but I had to. Until I saw a car with its headlights on, pointing my direction, running in a crazy speed. I wanted to scream but my voice isn't coming out. I ran faster, afraid of what's coming after me. My legs couldn't run any faster. The car is nearing. The light's getting bigger, blinding. I was in total panic until I slipped. I fell down. There were scars all over my arms, knees and legs, thick and jagged. That's when I lost hope. Waiting for that car to hit me, I closed my eyes. Tears doubled in amount as I accept the faith I was given.

"Gulf! Hey, Gulf! Gulf, please wake up! Gulf!"

Again, it was that nightmare.

I felt like I rose from being drown when I woke up. Tears run down my face nonstop. I was crying hard, unable to differentiate if I already woke up from that bad dream or P'Mew came inside my dream. I don't know. He hugged me really tight and that's when I knew, the nightmare is over.

"Shhh. It's okay. It's okay. It's over now. I am here. Look me in the eyes, please?"

He cupped my face and I tried very hard to open my eyes that are already tired from crying. My breathing is slowly returning to normal, thanks for P'Mew who is guiding me. 

"Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale."

Finally, I have calmed down. P'Mew gave me a glass of water that I think wasn't really enough for all the running I did in my dream, a bad dream to be exact. I asked for another and he gave me.

"Same nightmare?"

I nodded. I tried to hold back my tears that are, once again, ready to come out as I remembered it.

"Why do you always have that dream? I am very worried for you, Gulf. Every time I see you struggle all by yourself in that fucking dream. If only I could just enter your dream and destroy that damn car. I feel so helpless. Aish."

Pissed off, he was about to punch the wall but I have stopped him.

"You'll hurt yourself, P'Mew. It's okay. I'm okay. As long as you are here for me, it's fine. You are not helpless, okay? Thank you for being here by my side, always."

 After we've both calmed down, we went back to bed. P'Mew's hugging me as if I am going to disappear anytime soon if he loosens. This has been our sleeping position to avoid the bad dream from recurring but I guess, no matter how tight and secured I was in his arms, if it will come, it will come. Why do I feel like there has something more to this? Aish. I don't want to think about it anymore. I just want to be at peace this time, in P'Mew's arms.

"Gulf, mom called. She's inviting us for lunch."

Mom and I have also gotten closer than before. We've been exchanging text messages since then. It's not like she's asking for updates about P'Mew but she's been more curious about me. It makes me happy, actually. It's like I am having a new mom. Wait, isn't she already?

"Yeah. She already texted me." I said while changing the bed sheets. 

"Wow, looks like I am now the adopted child here, huh?" 

I just laughed it off.

When we finished all the house chores, we went straight to P'Mew's house. Just how warm Mom's welcome from the first meeting, is still as warm as today's visit, or should I say warmer?

"Oh poor Gulf. It must been so scary for you."

We are now all gathered around the table, having lunch. P'Mew mentioned about my nightmares to Mom. I couldn't agree more that they really are scary.

"Or maybe, your head is pointing towards west when sleeping. It can get you nightmares. I suggest you should move your bed." I looked at P' who dares not to believe in the superstition Mom has just said.

"Mom. That's just a belief." P'Mew rebutted.

"There's no harm in trying." Mom shrugged her shoulders and continued eating.

"Tell me. Are you stressed lately, my dear Gulf?"

I looked at Mom, so is P'.

"Stress can also get you nightmares. I heard athletes are more prone to stress and depression. Is there anything you are not sharing with us, honey?"

P'Mew held my hand.

"I am not, Mom. There's no reason for me to get stressed. Not with P'Mew's love and care."

I looked at P'Mew with the most sincere eyes. He smiles and nodded. He knew very well that I am not hiding anything from him which causes me stress.

"Maybe we'll just go with the moving of bed, Mom." and Mom chuckled.

"See, there's no harm in trying. By the way, your dad is coming today."

My heart literally skipped a beat when I heard what Mom said. I look at P'Mew and he, too, is surprised.

"Just kidding. He's still on his business trip."

"MOM!!!!!!"

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