✨𝕃𝕦𝕟𝕔𝕙 ℂ𝕝𝕦𝕓 𝕀𝕞𝕒𝕘𝕚𝕟𝕖𝕤✨

🌧Lost Trust || Noah x Female!Reader 🌧

Thank you all for 10.6k. I'm so sorry that I haven't been active the past few days. I also apologize for this story.

TW: Mentions of n*des and s*xual ideas. I will blur them. Also just a really emotional argument. And a true story that I am turning into something that makes it less ugly. Turning my pain into an art form is something I try to do as often as possible so I don't let things overwhelm me.

‼️PLEASE READ THE TRIGGER WARNINGS. IT'S A HEAVY TOPIC AND IT MAY BE HARD FOR PEOPLE TO READ‼️

~Your POV~

I hadn't meant to do it. Really. I wanted to believe I could uphold his expectations and be the person he wants. But I cracked. I told Madi about what was going on with me and Noah.

Noah is the most level-headed person I know. Which I know doesn't sound right, as he's quite expressive on camera. But he's always been the one who I could tell anything and everything to and trust him not to say anything about what I said. I had fallen for the male very quickly, but he wasn't looking for a relationship. He'd just ended things with his girlfriend about two months ago, and we'd been talking for a month. It started off friendly, since I hadn't checked in on him on a personal level in a while. Not since I helped set him up with his ex and pushed my feelings aside back then, too.

Then things turned, all because he'd asked me how far I'd gone in a relationship. Granted he was high that night and I don't blame him for his judgement being off. I told him not very far, since I have had very few relationships with people who can find such a mature eighteen year old fitting for their relationship criteria.

The conversation ended at four in the morning with us talking about some very explicit things that I still think about with regret to this day.

We were talking every day, small talk for the most part, and I told him I didn't want to do that again. Except it did. I'd always wanted him to think about me and I got him thinking about me, that's for sure. I wasn't exactly comfortable with some of the things said, but it was still pretty hot to read the things he'd say. I knew it wouldn't actually happen, so I figured it was harmless to keep playing into it. After all, I'm one of his friends from New Jersey. We're separated by the width of an entire country.

Things escalated when the explicit discussions traveled over the phone. I was up until five in the morning since he is in a different time zone than me. Any of our friends would have told anyone else that we were up talking about gaming and life. We are not exactly the type of people to talk about these things, me especially. Maybe he had the excuse that he was high or drunk when he was texting me, but during those phone calls, he was sober.

A few days later, exactly four weeks since we'd first had our explicit exchange, he sent me n*des. I was not implying that I didn't want them when he asked me, but I'd never been in that position before so there was no way for me to know what he'd do. And then he sent them. I, being a very ill-prepared and very inexperienced person, sent them back, thinking that maybe this was a sign that he wanted things to escalate. Of course they were. He bought tickets for me to fly out to California. He wanted things to escalate all the way.

I got to Cali and immediately clicked with Madi, since she and Ted were visiting Carson, Cooper, Travis, and Noah's house. We sat and talked for hours, though I caught Noah staring at me a lot. It took a while for me to realize why, and when I did figure it out, I got a lot of anxiety over it.

"Y/n, can I speak to you?" Noah asked me while I was watching Netflix with Madi on their couch. I made eye contact with her and she furrowed her brow at my anxiousness.

"Y-yeah," I said, and followed him to his room. He ran a hand through his hair once the door was closed and looked at me.

"I don't think I should do this anymore," he told me, and I was surprised.